Archives for the month of: May, 2013



We all face those times where we feel the walls of life are closing in on us. The past couple of weeks have been that feeling. In 2 weeks my life, family and existence has been shaken, turned upside down and just plain stressful. My mother has been battling diabetes for 24 years now, 2 weeks ago we go to the emergency room because she wasn’t feeling well and BAM. Her kidneys are failing to where she has to be admitted, her potassium levels were sky high and we need to get it down because that dangerous because it can mess with the heart and weaken the muscles and all i heard after that was Charlie Brown’s voice womp, womp, womp. What my ears heard was YOUR MOTHER IS DYING, not what they said but for a daughter who’s close to her mother that’s what I heard. Life pauses and all you do is nothing but cry and pray. 

After testing and all those things my mom had to start Dialysis, we had been praying against it because we’ve heard you don’t live long after you start it. I return to the hospital in the morning and my happy mom I left just hours ago is throwing up, looking like she’s been through hell and back. I sat at the end of her bed just praying and trying not to fall apart because she needs me to be strong. Then boom the Dialysis ports created a blood clot in her throat and it needs testing and requires warfarin (a blood thinning medication) to break it down so it doesn’t travel to her lungs and take her out. My response was to cry out GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MY FAMILY? I’M FAITHFUL TO YOU, I PRAY, I’M TRYING TO WALK IN YOUR WILL, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Clear as day I heard ” Be still & know that I am God”. I wasn’t trying to hear that because God you brought me to this place of despair and now you want to tell me trust you? NAW Forget that!

Long story short it turned into a 2 week hospital stay, we had to borrow gas money and I didn’t think we were going to make it out of that dark place. I eventually laid in my bed and cried and said God I’m ready to trust you, I know I doubted you but you ARE GOD. I can’t hold this burden any longer, I can’t let these doctors tell me what they know by books when the touch of your hand can clear this illness right up. If you tell me to be still, God here I stand waiting for your next command. That burden lifted from my chest, I surrendered all that to God and he stepped in & moved those mountains. He knew I’d find my way back to him because he knows BEST. You can try to run the show & all you feel is stress, anxiety, sadness, guilt, despair and like the storm is never going to end.


When you feel despair, when the walls close in on you, when you are ready to throw in the towel just got to Romans 12:12, it says  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. He has given us the tools to maneuver through those dark hours. He has equipped us with his word and I myself don’t go to it enough. We must remember his word is sufficient enough! Remember God loves you and even though it seems like he has forgotten you, he’s sitting there waiting for you to call on him so he can come to your aide. The beautiful thing about coming to him is he loves to be needed by you, he loves to know you will rely on the source that is him. He’s always available to you, just PRAY, cry out to him and he’ll swoop in and make you feel lighter. Don’t hold that burden, give it over to him and let him carry it.




Well today I finally resigned up to Twitter and it felt kind of strange. In December of 2012 I noticed my life was being lived on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter so what’d I do? You guessed it, I deleted them all with no warning, No sad goodbye status, no exchanging of numbers, no parting words just DEACTIVATE.I noticed those sites had become my God, I wasn’t studying my word, wasn’t praying just going through my day on my phone.

I’d become addicted to being on my phone, scanning other people’s pictures, reading other people’s status’s comparing my own life and I got down right discouraged. I had to realize God had me where HE wanted me in life. Being on Twitter I’d seen plenty of drug pictures & following people that weren’t of God. They weren’t representing the kingdom and there I was feeding that garbage right into my soul. I was wondering why I was going through so much Chaos and it was because I wasn’t about HIS business. I was going through the motions of living my own life and that’ll always breed stress.


Now returning to Twitter my prayer life is solid as a rock, I study my bible and I follow the people who I can be encouraged through. In being a Christian we have to protect our eyes from the things that can turn us to lust, get us off our duty to serve God & deter us from growing closer to him. Now I know people say “it doesn’t take all that” UHM YES IT DOES! Guard your heart against all things that come to destroy your relationship with Christ, guard your heart against all things that’ll make you question your place in life. God has you RIGHT where he wants you to be. He wants to be close to you, he wants you to desire him, he wants that quality time with you. 

When dealing with social media:

Make sure you are following people that can pull you closer to Christ. 

Make sure you don’t spend all your day on these sites

Make sure you are WITNESSING to onlookers; When I left my daughter’s father almost 2 years ago I got my relationship with Christ strong by reading blogs by Diana Hobbs. If it hadn’t been for her site ( I wouldn’t of known where to turn.

Make sure you check yourself before you post certain things ( profanity, offensive stats, e.t.c) you want to bring people TO Christ not send them running waving their hands.

Make sure you are a great example of a Christian ( we are NOT perfect but we need to come in the name of him & represent him well)