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John 15:13 is such a powerful verse in regards to friendship. In 2014 I’ve been wondering what happened to real friendships, like where are the people who would lay down their lives for their friends? It’s amazing how with age you notice that people you could call friends 15 years ago don’t hold that title anymore. For example, I pride myself on being an amazing friend, you can call me at 3 in the morning stranded and I’m getting out of my bed to come get you. Last year I had a year of redemption and forgiveness but some things have become future behavior from those same people. I won’t say names because it’s unimportant but I will give situations and hopefully solutions

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I recently had a birthday party for my 5 year old, I had several people back out and some had valid reasons. For the couple who didn’t call, didn’t show or had an excuse I’ve chosen not to speak to them. When you are a TRUE friend, you will turn over stones in the middle of the road to get to your friend’s birthday party. There will be no last minute attempt to honor your commitment to your friend, you’ll be there ON TIME, with a gift and helping in any way you can. Friendship has gotten so far from those principals that you get people’s latter, not there best. WORD TO THE WISE: YOU have to set a standard for people to rise up to, just like relationships , if you don’t set requirements in stone people aren’t going to honor you. I know about 10 years ago you didn’t have to have sit downs with people because they took pride in being friends but it’s apparently a new day. 

SOLUTION: Pray God gives you the words to say when your friends aren’t holding up their end. Also have a standard set in stone for what friendship with you looks like. If people can’t meet that requirement, there is absolutely nothing wrong with discontinuing that friendship. If you are the one they can call on but they can’t be called on that’s not your friend, they are using you.

Another example I can use is also related to my 5 year old. She had a situation where someone made her feel less than loved, kind of brushed her off. She wanted to go with the person and it was always an excuse as to why they couldn’t fulfill their obligation to her. She then came to me and said “So and so doesn’t want me, she doesn’t want me” and began to cry. One thing about me is I DO NOT play when it comes to my child! If you look up mama bear in the dictionary I’m sure my picture is next to the definition because I protect her to all faults. You can’t make my child feel any type of way & I not deal with you accordingly and possibly in a less than nice tone. Her schooling has been affected and I also DO NOT play with academics, especially if it’s due to someone stressing her out. She knows I have her back and if ANYONE attempts to come against her the claws and roar will come out.

SOLUTION: Again consult God first on what to say to the person and how to say it. Also swallow your fears about the outcome because no matter what the situation has to be addressed. Children are innocent and depend on their parents to protect them, make sure they are safe and feel loved. If someone takes on a position and doesn’t honor that role, it’s OK to remove them from the job. Ford fires and hires everyday and you have the right to do so too!

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LOOKING FORWARD: I am very proud to say even though I’ve had some bad experiences I do have people who abide by Luke 6:31.I don’t want to put them on blast BUT their names are Theary and Nakisha. When I say friend, I mean FRIEND! If I need anything I can pick up the phone and call them and they’d be right there. If I’m on my death bed and have hours to live, they will hold my hand and talk to me until my eyes close and God takes me into heaven. They have honored me for over 15 years and been a constant blessing in my daughter’s life since she was born. We’ve had our downs but our UP’S have been a straight flight, needless to say we haven’t had to discuss standards because they’ve stood by me since the day we met

When you find yourself in those uncomfortable situations, I’d ask you to go to God for the words to say. A TRUE friend is priceless and God will continue to send you people who will honor you. Pray to him for more God lead friendships and less Godless acquaintances. Some people just want to come around you to make sure you aren’t doing better than them. Some people just want to see in your life and go run and tell your hardships to people. Don’t be afraid to close the blinds to those people, they mean you NO good and will bring stress to your life. You can love them from a distance, pray for them every night but not let them gain access to take from you or make you feel a certain way. Let’s Pray!

Almighty God,

I thank you for giving me a chance to see a new day, I thank you for forgiving me for my sins and loving me in spite of myself. I come to you tonight with a heavy heart. I am lost for words to say to someone I’ve considered a friend and I need your guidance. In your word you’ve shown me what friendship looks like and I’m not being treated according to the word. I ask that if they are for me, you give me the words to say and if they are not for me you remove them from my life. I want friendships that reflect your love and that push me to be better in you and pray you send me those people. I want to further your kingdom, bring glory to your name and be friends with people who wish the same. I want to live in a way that’ll bring people to know you and not a way that sends people astray so I ask you continue to humble me. Thank you for hearing my heart and my prayer father God,

Amen

 

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