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When you are single the statement “You attract who you are” can be very damaging to your soul. As a woman of God, you read the words God says about you and it seems to conflict with what the world is saying. What voice should you listen to? Why is this stigma placed on single women, waiting to be someone’s good thing? Is this statement really true? How can you respond to people who throw this at you? Lets explore the topic and hopefully by the end of this blog you are empowered, feeling full of knowledge and ready to take on anyone who says this to you.

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First let me explain to you that singleness is NOT a disease, a curse or a cruel punishment from God. Singleness is beauty and you get to learn yourself on such a level. You are given the chance to follow God, uninterrupted and figure out your calling and purpose as it relates to pleasing Christ. I myself am doing A LOT of self work, changed my horrible attitude, connected with God, got into my word really deep, chose a life of celibacy and got on this pursuit of bringing glory to God. This blog and my soon coming ministry #BareFacesPureHearts are apart of my journey to finding myself and doing God’s business. As a single Christian woman I’ve found people tell you to constantly change to be found by a man. It’s always something we could do better or more of in the eyes of the world; whether it be changing our dress attire or changing who we are. None of those things are going to speed up God’s timing for when you find your husband so don’t be fooled.

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I’ve been single for a couple of years now and all I see is “You attract who you are” and it’s simply not true. I get approached by drunken and old men and that is NO reflection of me. I’m 25 so there goes the you’re older so that’s why the old men want you and I do not drink so there goes that theory too. God has a plan for your love life so if you attract broke, old, drunk, thuggy, living off their potential, gold digging, unattractive men, this has NOTHING to do with you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made and God wouldn’t send you someone who will subtract from your life. Don’t spend your time trying to make yourself up or change who you are to be found by a man. The man for you is going to love you from the moment he sees you, accept you flaws and all and love all the woman of God that you are.

What voice should you listen to? You should read your bible and see what God says about you. The world has a different standard of what beauty is. To the world beauty means; heels, long straight hair, thin framed, face full of make-up, money falling out your wallet because it’s so full and name brand clothing. None of those things are beautiful, all those things are cover ups to hide a deeper rooted issue that they are battling on the inside. To God beauty is on the inside of you, God searches your inner so that’s where your focus should be. You are most beautiful when your life pours out Christ from every fiber of your being and you are bringing people to Christ. Listen to God’s voice and follow his direction!

Why is this stigma placed on single women waiting to be someone’s good thing? Single women get this stigma placed on us because some are desperate. Some women can’t stand to be single so they settle for less than they’re worth and will change themselves to get a man. Single women also get this stigma placed on them because they let too many worldly people speak into their lives. You MUST be careful who you let mentor you or speak into your life! Everyone isn’t for you and sometimes they don’t even have the rules together themselves.

Is this statement really true? Absolutely NOT! This is one of the most ignorant misguided statements to ever be created! If you know you are aligning your life with Christ, you are fine. If you know you are living a life dedicated to Christ, he will definitely send you the man you deserve. Though the single season can last a long period of time, don’t EVER settle. Wait on God to bring this man into your life! No matter how long you are single, remember God has someone set aside for you and you will come together when HE sees fit!

How can you respond to someone who throws this at you? You let them know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and no matter who comes your way, that won’t change. Remind them that you know you are someone’s good thing and you aren’t going to be shaken by the statement. Let them know they should pick up their bible and find out what God says about them and tell them don’t speak that death over you. 

One thing you can rest assured in is God has the final say over your life, NOT man. If God says you’ll be single then that’s what it is, you aren’t going to change his mind. I know it’s easy to get discouraged and feel like you might be in this season forever BUT you won’t. You attract who wants to come over and try you but that doesn’t mean you have to entertain them. When someone doesn’t line up with your standards show them the exit. Don’t be afraid to tell people no thank you or you aren’t fitting the mold for a man of God. Sure they may get offended but you have a right to turn them down and not feel bad about it. Let’s pray!

Dear Lord,

I come to you today thanking you for all you’ve done for me, thank you for loving me and protecting me. I ask you forgive me for any sins that I may have committed today and restore me. As your daughter I ask that in your timing you send my mate and let us bring glory to your name. I thank you for showing me the way you feel about me and what I should require in a man who wants to be apart of my life. My heart belongs to you and I have faith that you’ll bring me a man who has asked you for me first. Thank you Lord for showing me my worth! In your name I pray,

Amen

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