Archives for posts with tag: Abstinence

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Wow, it has been some time since I have blogged or really done anything related to BFPH. I’m NOT proud of that so here I am trying to revamp it. I remember being in a really healthy spiritual and emotional place when I first started BFPH. Things have changed in my life this year and I’m going to speak briefly about it. This blog (and others) have been on my heart but I just didn’t share it but look out for it because I’ll be posting more and more about my journey this year. Let’s dive right into this blog though.

So, early this year I had the chance to meet a pretty nice guy. We talked, he knew God, he honored my decision to be celibate until marriage and he is a parent. I fell for him rather quickly but kept my feelings to myself until I got the official word for him on his feelings. In April, he expressed to me wanting to keep things light and I was devastated but I went with it. In May, he decided that he wanted more and told me he loved me. I was overjoyed and excited to be in a relationship because after all, I’d been single for 4 years. We communicated well, I was able to open up to him about my past hurts, he was supportive of me reuniting my daughter with her father and just was the man of my dreams. I thanked God nightly for him and we began to speak of marriage a few weeks later. I was really over the moon because as you’ve read previously on my blog I deeply desired marriage and thought God had blessed me with this gift and it was about to happen.

Fast forward down a few more months and I had been getting advice from different sources on what to expect in the next phase of our life. I called my Pastor’s wife for her expertise when we had those little arguments and I was actively preparing to be a wife. Now, I know you can NEVER be fully prepared or prepare to be married but I knew there were little issues I had that I’d need to work on before I could marry this man. I did that work and in my mind all things were a go, for him it was not. Recently, we had a petty argument/misunderstanding that I thought we’d brush over. He had been experiencing mixed feelings and decided he wanted to go another direction with his life. Now this has left me baffled, confused, hurt, shocked and so many other things. I’ve been filled with anger and I’ve acted it out on him and I am not happy about that. You just don’t know how you are going to react to someone who has hurt you very deeply. He has been really vocal about his disdain for my treatment of him. I thought how dare he tell me about how he feels after he has driven a knife through my heart and twisted it? The gall of some people but he is right! Just because I am hurting, my job as a daughter of Christ is to still show love and be kind. But how do you show the love of Christ when you are mad at Christ? Yes, I said it, I am angry with Christ because I felt he should’ve saved me from this pain. That’s a trip isn’t it? I’m smart enough to know that God isn’t at fault for this, I am! My relationship with Christ wasn’t even strong when I entered the relationship but here I was expecting him to honor it. I had begun slipping in my bible studies, engaged in some inappropriate conversations with this man but I expected God to cover me in it?

Well my first and most important priority should have been to get right with the Savior. I should’ve stayed connected to the vine instead of running off trying to become married. I should have been working to become whole in Christ instead of making this man my primary focus and neglecting Christ. Truthfully, God spoke to me MANY times in that relationship and gave me warnings not to make him my mini god. I did not listen because I wanted it so bad, I was willing to run through all the warnings and stop signs to get to my fleshly desires.

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This bible verse just completely wrecked me when I read it. Lately, I’ve been seeking God and honestly it has not been with my whole heart. What I mean by that is, I have been hesitant to completely surrender unto him. I’ve been really honest about my walk and my struggles. I wanted to put in a half effort and get great results and of course I learned, God isn’t going to allow that. I have recently been reading a lot of spiritual books, doing a little meditation and increasing my prayer life. Things have been tense but I still know that God has a plan for me, I just need to be still and trust him.

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Today just so happens to be my daughter’s 6th birthday and although I had a great time, my mind was running. Thinking about how I am going to make ends meet and it became overwhelming. As I pulled down her decorations I remembered that I was supposed to start my Jesus Calling devotional yesterday. I came into my room, book in hand and decided I was going to start reading it. As I began to read the introduction, I felt an overwhelming feeling to lay down. I ignored my body but kept on reading and I heard God saying to me, “surrender”. I kept reading trying to ignore the voice I had heard and I heard it again, “surrender”. Now, I’ve heard of this type of thing but I always quietly doubted it because it hadn’t happened to me.

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I could not even believe that God was pulling at my heart strings like that. He knew my “secret” of trying to run from him so he came and got me. When I say I ended up sprawled out, across my bed with tears streaming down my face, I mean it. All I could do was say, “Lord, I surrender” over and over again! I began to tell him that I’m handing it over to him, the guilt, the shame, the impatience, the impurities, the questioning and doubting him. I could not get up and as I poured my heart out to him, I slowly felt a warm peace come over me. I just laid there with my face in my covers and my eyes closed for a minute as he soothed my worried mind. Before I knew it, all that heaviness I’ve been carrying around for weeks just melted right off of me. I didn’t worry about how people would judge me because of the way my life has been going for the past couple of years. I found comfort in Jeremiah 29:11. I felt comfort in the fact that he has a plan for me and in due time, he will reveal it. I don’t have to stack myself up against someone else’s success because he has me in a special spot. He knows the plans he has for me and my season isn’t here yet but he is working behind the scenes for me. He definitely loves me and he has great things in store for me. No matter how tough things get, he is not leaving me but shaping and molding me. Let’s Pray!

Father God,

I come to you now thanking you for revealing yourself to me in a special way. I thank you for hearing my fears, seeing my tears and coming to remind me of your love for me. Lord, this journey may not be easy but you have not and will not leave me. Father I know that you have my best interest at heart and I bless your name for hiding me until I am more mature spiritually. I know that you have great plans for me and you have come to get your daughter and reassure me that everything is going to be okay. Thank you Lord for loving me even when I didn’t want it. Forgive me for pushing you away and doubting your capabilities in my situation. I surrender unto your direction, unto your word and cast all my burdens upon you because I know you will take care of them. Thank you for sustaining me and continuing to open spiritual doors for me to walk through and learn. It is in your mighty name I pray,

Amen

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Well where do you start when you just have the need to freeze time? Have you ever been in a position where you just wish you had that “click” remote? I mean if you could pull out that remote and just stop all production on life you would’ve abused it by now? I am in that season RIGHT now and I want to encourage not only you but myself.

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The first thing I’ve come to realize is that I’ve cast my cares upon The Lord half heartedly. I’m so flustered because I’ve given him my “junk” but I keep going back to check on it. He has made way after way, answered prayer after prayer and here I am totally frazzled. What I had/have to do is remember, GOD HAS ME! So you know my advice to you is, give it over to him understanding and knowing GOD HAS YOU! He doesn’t need our help to step into our situations, he got this. No matter what storm we are facing in the coming week, day, hour, minute, second, health bad, bills overflowing, GOD got this. He is overseeing us so he already knows what the outcome is. We have to have faith in our Heavenly Father, know that even though it doesn’t feel good or look good it’s going to end in OUR good. You know Vashawn Mitchell’s song “Turning Around For Me?” Well I encourage you to believe those lyrics because as he sang, it won’t always be like this. Believe that sooner or later it’ll turn in my favor!

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I know that many things are ahead of me for the upcoming week so I’m choosing to trust God. When the plot thickens in my life, I’m going to speak life over myself. My cares? I’m going to cast them upon him and believe that he has my back. Though we may get discouraged and think he isn’t moving “fast enough” God got this! Even in our rants or total despair it may even feel like he isn’t for us but HE IS! He is waiting on you to let go of that “junk” and let him discard it properly. I encourage you tonight, when things get tough, get so unbearable to your human strength, call out to him. If you are at work, go to the bathroom and remind yourself “God you got this!” Lord it’s NOT over and I declare this path is going to straighten. What ever situation you find yourself in, just throw your head back, stretch your arms out and start to pray. If you can’t do that then just stop what you are doing, bow your head and start declaring his word and love over yourself. Don’t stay in that moment of frustration, cry out, call out, shout it out, just release the feelings of defeat.  Let’s pray!

Father God,

I come to you with a heart full of thanks! Even though life is beating on me I know you got this. I thank you for sustaining me in the midst of storms, attacks, lack and everything that has come to destroy me. Lord I fall down on my knees, at your feet knowing that you are keeping me. I call upon your name for protection, my needs being met and the spirit of defeat and distress being lifted from me. As you guide me on this path I open my mind and heart to all the blessings you have in store for me. I declare right now father that the storm can’t take me under because you have your hands on me. Father I see you working things out, I believe you are before me knocking down all things/ people looking for my downfall. I am the head and not the tail, all things are working together for my good, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. You have ALL power in YOUR hands Lord, you are the one and only God, I praise and thank you right now in advance for what you are doing. I declare and decree your goodness, your faithfulness and your mercy over all the situations I’m facing God. You have won again! I will have victory, the chains are falling off of me right now,I’m no longer hostage to those negative thoughts! It is in your name I pray and say thank you Lord,

amen

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I was having a conversation about a recent situation and this bible verse just repeated in my head. It’s amazing how we can be tight with someone and they reveal their heart to you. In the book of  Psalms, Chapter 23 vs. 5 it makes it clear to you that God has a plan when this happens. Sure, like I did,you may wonder if all along this/these people ever were truly for you. In Psalms 23:5 it reads “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows”. This verse is so powerful because the pain of releasing toxic, using, just around to get your business or fake friend people is only part of the preparation. God has to purge you of these people because he has amazing things ahead for you. When they turn their back on you, reveal their heart and try to start problems it is only because they can’t go with you. Sure it is hurtful because you thought these were your friends BUT they are not and he is walking you toward true friends. He will make sure they have a front row seat to your success because he shows his power in his works. People believe where you are is as far as you’ll go but they aren’t aware of the God you serve and his plans for your life.

 

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No matter how bad it hurts just remember the goodness of God will cover you. If you are going through these situations and trials he will heal your heart. When you have a heart for God, he swoops down on you and screams to your enemies to back up! He immediately goes to work on your wounds, you just have to be open to the healing process. Yes, you will have good days and bad but it’s all part of the grieving process. The healing for me was to decide not to speak about it anymore but to pray when I’m feeling down. Yes, the people that hurt you will more than likely want an explanation but it is ok to tell them, it’s behind me and I choose to move forward. Once YOU have prayed to God for healing and a forgiving heart, that is the end of it. They can seek their own guidance outside of you! It might sound harsh but you have to remain in the goodness of God. If you relive it with people, you are going to disrupt your progress and get out of the right head and heart space.

 

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In the wake of betrayal and hurt you just get to a point where you decide to move forward. In the bible there are several verses that can assist you in moving on and forward. One thing you can not stop doing is praying, this will bring you through. I believe God has so much in store for me and on the way that he had to excuse people from my life. I’m now more aware of the wolves in sheep clothing so it won’t happen again. Just like in a relationship, you are cautious of who you allow in your life (hopefully) so you have to be that way with potential friends as well. I also know to only entertain people with a heart after Christ. I will entertain people who want to follow Christ but don’t know where to start because they show the desire. I know not to become friends with people who don’t share my same morals, values and lifestyle because they aren’t ready for a friendship with me. They have to come to an awakening and want better for themselves or they won’t be able to give fully to a friendship. Let’s pray!

 

Father,

I come to you thanking you for your love, protection, forgiveness and mercy. Thank you for healing my heart and showing me that where I am is not where I am staying. Thank you for removing the bad because I believe you are preparing to introduce me with good. I thank you for the pain before the preparation because it is working for my good. Going forward Lord please surround me with people who have a heart for you. My desire is to bring more people to you and make your kingdom full with believers and win over unbelievers. I know that you will heal my heart further and I’m looking forward to the greater that is coming. My prayer for the future is that you give me the discernment and strength to release people who are coming to me with ill intentions. Reveal them Father! I also pray for the people who were shown not to be right in my life. Work on them, work in them and give them a heart that convicts and repents. It is in your name these things are counted done and I Pray,

 

Amen

 

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Don’t forget! I run a Single Christian ladies ministry and it has been such a blessing! It is called Bare Faces Pure Hearts and I’d love to encourage and connect with you on your social media. I’m also merging/ leading another Singles Ministry but I’ll release more information on that in the future! God bless you and share, repost and spread my blogs if they are a blessing to you! I’m standing with you in prayer as always! -Ms. McDonald

Twitter: @Wogmovement25

Instagram: @barefacespurehearts

 

 

 

 

 

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Declarations for your financial situation: 

I declare and decree God is working on my financial situation.  God has heard my prayers, seen my tears and is working everything out. I refuse to succumb to stress about a situation that is already handled. I trust in The Lord and have never seen the righteous forsaken. At this very moment, at this very hour, at this very second I dry the tears from my eyes, release a shout of victory unto you oh Lord! In the power of your mighty name, I count it done, Amen.

Declarations for your love life:

I declare and decree that God has perfect timing in bringing forth my husband/wife. God knows my desire to be married and will honor this in HIS timing. I know that this season of singleness is a preparation season. I ask you Lord to come into my heart and prepare me to be a wife/husband. I declare greatness over my future marriage and have already submitted myself and future spouse to you. In Jesus name, it is done, AMEN

Declarations for protection from your enemies:

I declare and decree that God has removed me from danger. I believe God for the removal of enemies posed as friends. I believe God is cleaning out people who mean me no good, he is taking care of it! In Jesus name, I believe it, AMEN 

 

 

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As a woman whose been in relationships that weren’t the best for me, I realize how you can get swept up in lust covered as love. It’s very easy to get caught up in the feeling vs. the reality of your relationship. You make excuses for why he/she is the one and how they make your heart smile and so on. He looks like everything you dreamed of as a child, she looks like everything you wanted in a woman as a young boy. What happens when it turns out to be just a facade? What happens when you are gut punched with the reality of he/she not being who lust told you they were on your journey seeking love? I’ll tell you what happens, you end in the fetal position on your bed asking God why.

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Growing up, if you are lucky your parents sat you down and told you what to expect from a relationship. You were raised deep in the word of God and the dangers of premarital sex were explained to you. If you are like most people I know, that didn’t happen so you were left fending for yourself to figure out what love was. I’m 25 and the first time lust was explained to me was in a blog and that was AFTER i became a single mom. I don’t mean the cute version of single mom, I mean the child is with you 24 AND the 7, no social life and no resources kind of single motherhood. The word SOUL TIE was introduced to me last year when I started to diligently seek Christ. I’m writing this blog because even though I got it late, I want to share it with you early, here today, right now.

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What you should know is when you are seeking love God has already given it to you. There is nothing you can do to change the way he feels about you. He knows you are going to mess up and that’s why he sent his son to die for you. What you seek in man or woman, he’s already giving you so be fulfilled in that. Nothing about love equals lust, either it is or it isn’t and that’s how you should view people. I used to be one of those girls who fell in love with potential. Oh it wasn’t anything you could tell me about it either, I’d defend the unemployment, I’d defend the other girls and I’d dare you to challenge me. Granted I’d never picked up a bible to see what God said love was. I don’t want you to be the one who doesn’t pick up a bible so you travel the world seeking something that isn’t real.

The day I woke up from forever was when I’d found myself in a toxic relationship. I thought because I waited 6 months to have sex that I was doing something. I tied my soul up and BAD, for those of you who don’t know a soul tie is when you have sex with someone who has not put some papers and a ring on it! If he didn’t approach you, court you, consult God on your relationship/ courtship, wait for confirmation from God, get a yes from God, propose to you, go to the court house file for a marriage license, stand before you and your family and friends and marry you then get intimate, you’ve tied souls. Premarital sex creates a soul tie because you are sharing your body with someone other than your husband/wife.

I know some people don’t believe it takes all that and those are the people I tell “READ YOUR BIBLE!” I got all caught up with a toxic person even became a mother from that toxic relationship and it brought me to right here today. Now I understand had I not went through that, I wouldn’t have a relationship with Christ. Sure, I identified with Christianity but I never knew it actually came along with task until I gave my life fully to him. I now know if a man wants to have sex, kiss all on me and get in my personal space he isn’t for me! I desire a man of God, not just one who sits in a church on Sunday and Wednesday nights right beside a Pastor because it looks good. I won’t settle for a man other than one who is so lost in God that he bleeds the word because I am lost in my word that way.

I desire a man who is God lead now, not flesh lead because that’ll breed fleshly desires and I’ve been there before. I now know what God says about me, what he requires of me and what it means to have a relationship with him. Just because you are in a relationship that doesn’t bring God glory doesn’t mean you have to stay in it. You can get out of that at anytime, you can stop answering those late night phone calls for him/her tonight. Pick up your bible and read what LOVE truly is and how that’s what you should require and give. Don’t let what you want him/her to be cloud your judgement and cause you to miss out on the one God has for you. You are SOOOOOOOOOO worth the best! You are SOOOO worth being loved and cared for and not just for someone’s temporary pleasures! Don’t leave this earth stuck in the mentality that you should be OK with a flesh lead relationship. You are priceless, God fights for you, he gave his son FOR YOU! I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t give up my only son for a bunch of sinners but God did because he thinks that much of YOU! Just love yourself, just thank God for that thought alone, just start off with you desire for better and progression. Let’s Pray!

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you for your son, I thank you for this day to do better, I thank you for your love and your mercy. As I sit before you I ask you create in me a clean heart. I ask that you show me how to love myself the way you love me! I need you Lord and you’ve been so merciful and awesome while I’ve been stuck in my mess. I vow to do better and choose to serve you and bring glory and honor to your name. I know I deserve the best and I trust you will bring the best to me as I travel this journey called life. As I fall on my knees begging for your forgiveness for the sins I’ve committed I trust and believe you are working things out for my good. As times get tough I will turn to you and seek your guidance because I know you’ve got me. Thank you Lord for the awakening I’ve been given today and may I be a vessel for you forever.

In your precious name it is I pray,’

Amen