Archives for posts with tag: Blogger

Have you ever felt like you’d found “the one” or been found by “the one”? Everything is going great (or not), you are vibing, in love, the happiest you’ve ever been right? So what do you do when all of that comes crashing down and you find yourself suddenly single? That is the question I have been asking myself for the past week.

A week ago, my just a month shy of 3 years relationship ended suddenly. I AM devastated to say the least. I went through the toughest day the day after. I cried, cried and did I mention cried all day! I was tempted to stay in bed all weekend and sulk but something was different in me.

 I decided I was NOT going to allow this break-up to take me down. I jumped out of bed, attended to my personal hygiene and got on the road to my mom’s house. I played gospel music the entire way there and sang along. My heart and spirit felt so good on that hour and 15 minute ride.

I had to get up and keep moving because I know who I am. I had to smile and appreciate the beauty in my situation because I am confident in the caliber of woman I am. If he didn’t see that he was blessed with the best, his lost not mine. So, I know you may be tempted to sulk and cry but I’m going to give you some tips to help you through this.

First thing: It is OK to be sad and you should sit in each emotion. Feel it, journal it, sing it, meditate on it and remember to breathe through it.

Second thing: Remember your goals and start working towards them. Create a vision board, go try a new class, listen to a new artist. This will help you begin to enjoy what is now your “new normal”.

Third thing: Remove any photographs, letters, text or anything from the person IF you are ready. I know none of that is easy, but it is going to be neccessary to remove the reminders so you can focus on healing. Yes, delete them from your social media and delete their contact.

Fourth thing: I highly suggest listening to some motivational speakers on YouTube or via podcast. I have been BINGE WATCHING Derrick Jaxn and Trent Shelton videos. To hear someone remind you how valuable you are, what not to settle for, that you can do what you set your mind to is so refreshing. The moment I found their videos and paired it with my determination to get through this, I began to feel much better.

Fifth thing: Write down what you want in your next relationship. Reflect on what you’ve learned through the last relationship. Detail your deal breakers and actually stick by them if you didn’t before.

I am still figuring out what all works for me. The tips above have been pulling me through. I must admit I haven’t felt this determined and focused in over a year. I know one day the right man will come along and we can build together. I also still believe in marriage and desire it deeply.

I’m in no rush, I am just focusing on being a better mom, finishing my degree, this state move I’m in the process of. I have many things to occupy my mind and time but I also still honor my times of sadness. If I need to cry it out, I will stop and do that. There’s no easy way to healing, you just have to go through it and you WILL be OK in time.

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Wow, it has been so long since I have done this! I’m excited to be back and ready to share what’s been up with me. I have had one challenging year. I lost my father this year and it seems like that has just flipped life on its head for me. I’ve developed anxiety and depression and that has not been easy.

Today is one of my hard days, one of those days where I just feel like blah. I noticed that the Holiday season is almost unbearable with my dad being gone. It is a daily battle to keep a smile on my face or not go off on someone. I also feel like I’d like to be left alone a lot. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, right?

Depression is not fun, it isn’t a joke and it can be debilitating. I have made the commitment to myself to keep going. Have there been many times I’ve thought about ending my life? YES! I am choosing to believe that, there is indeed more to keep living for. Each day I continue to tell myself, keep going and I do.

I can share with you that even though I lost my dad and life looks dreary, it isn’t. My father would have told me that everything is going to work out fine and to keep going. My father would be smiling at the fact that I’m going to graduate and receive my Bachelor’s degree in 2018. I’m putting that into the atmosphere, claiming and receiving that right now in the name of Jesus.

I can share with you that I have begun speaking and living my truth. I have begun speaking up for myself, no matter who doesn’t agree. I am finally working towards the life I want. So this year hasn’t been the most favorable, but I am going to make strides daily to live my best life.

I am going to keep moving forward and I know that this will get better. I’m committed to overcoming anxiety and depression. I am also committed to what it shows me and making sure to honor my emotions.

 

image(Photo credit: Pinterest, I do not own this image)

Hello Brothers & Sisters in Christ, it’s been several months since I’ve blogged. Life has been both bitter sweet for me since November but God IS STILL good and faithful! I’m currently in the middle of wedding planning, back working and trying my best to keep this diabetes in range to be healthy. Pray for and with me as I continue to walk this journey we call life.

Today in particular I got hit with a major curve ball. I’d made this dental appointment four months ago and have been looking forward to it. Well this afternoon I got a call from the office and the receptionist had some financial news for me. She says hey, you have a $567 share of cost, did you know this? My heart sank into my chest because I knew by Monday I wouldn’t be able to pay this. I bellowed out WHAT???!! She says yes, according to documents you’ve submitted, you make too much to qualify for your regular plan. We chatted some more and to make a long story short, I had to give up this appointment. I immediately became angry and began to cry because I hadn’t been informed of this.

image(Photo credit: Pinterest, I do not own this image)

I just sat in my kitchen, tears streaming down my cheeks asking God why. I kept saying Lord, what is this? What is your plan? I said some colorful words too (just being honest) and paced back and forth as I kept pouring out my frustration and sadness to God. It was silent but even in my frustration, even in my anger and even in my sadness, I just choose to believe. I’m not sure why things went awry but I trust God has good reasoning for it.

I find it is so easy to allow the devil to steal your peace or your joy. I had to take my power back, popped on my gospel music and began to praise. My soul is at peace because I know God has my back. His ways and his plan are perfect and if you just hold on a little while he’ll reveal it. Exercise your faith in the midst of adversity and tell God, “Lord I choose to believe, your will your way”. No matter what comes your way, you will absolutely be okay. Not sure who said it first but faith it until you make it and I promise you, it will turn in your favor. Let’s Pray!

Most faithful and powerful Lord,

I come to you now with a open heart and mind. Thank you for protecting me, providing for me and seeing in me what I don’t even see in myself. Father I am faced with what seems like a hardship but I know you’ll make it alright. I choose to believe in you and exercise my faith because you are faithful. I choose to wait on the revelation of your plan and praise you in the midst of it all. Thank you Lord for my husband to be, my daughter and please watch over us as we sleep tonight. In your son Jesus Christ name I do pray, Amen.