Archives for posts with tag: CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS

image

Wow, it has been some time since I have blogged or really done anything related to BFPH. I’m NOT proud of that so here I am trying to revamp it. I remember being in a really healthy spiritual and emotional place when I first started BFPH. Things have changed in my life this year and I’m going to speak briefly about it. This blog (and others) have been on my heart but I just didn’t share it but look out for it because I’ll be posting more and more about my journey this year. Let’s dive right into this blog though.

So, early this year I had the chance to meet a pretty nice guy. We talked, he knew God, he honored my decision to be celibate until marriage and he is a parent. I fell for him rather quickly but kept my feelings to myself until I got the official word for him on his feelings. In April, he expressed to me wanting to keep things light and I was devastated but I went with it. In May, he decided that he wanted more and told me he loved me. I was overjoyed and excited to be in a relationship because after all, I’d been single for 4 years. We communicated well, I was able to open up to him about my past hurts, he was supportive of me reuniting my daughter with her father and just was the man of my dreams. I thanked God nightly for him and we began to speak of marriage a few weeks later. I was really over the moon because as you’ve read previously on my blog I deeply desired marriage and thought God had blessed me with this gift and it was about to happen.

Fast forward down a few more months and I had been getting advice from different sources on what to expect in the next phase of our life. I called my Pastor’s wife for her expertise when we had those little arguments and I was actively preparing to be a wife. Now, I know you can NEVER be fully prepared or prepare to be married but I knew there were little issues I had that I’d need to work on before I could marry this man. I did that work and in my mind all things were a go, for him it was not. Recently, we had a petty argument/misunderstanding that I thought we’d brush over. He had been experiencing mixed feelings and decided he wanted to go another direction with his life. Now this has left me baffled, confused, hurt, shocked and so many other things. I’ve been filled with anger and I’ve acted it out on him and I am not happy about that. You just don’t know how you are going to react to someone who has hurt you very deeply. He has been really vocal about his disdain for my treatment of him. I thought how dare he tell me about how he feels after he has driven a knife through my heart and twisted it? The gall of some people but he is right! Just because I am hurting, my job as a daughter of Christ is to still show love and be kind. But how do you show the love of Christ when you are mad at Christ? Yes, I said it, I am angry with Christ because I felt he should’ve saved me from this pain. That’s a trip isn’t it? I’m smart enough to know that God isn’t at fault for this, I am! My relationship with Christ wasn’t even strong when I entered the relationship but here I was expecting him to honor it. I had begun slipping in my bible studies, engaged in some inappropriate conversations with this man but I expected God to cover me in it?

Well my first and most important priority should have been to get right with the Savior. I should’ve stayed connected to the vine instead of running off trying to become married. I should have been working to become whole in Christ instead of making this man my primary focus and neglecting Christ. Truthfully, God spoke to me MANY times in that relationship and gave me warnings not to make him my mini god. I did not listen because I wanted it so bad, I was willing to run through all the warnings and stop signs to get to my fleshly desires.

Advertisements

image

Well where do you start when you just have the need to freeze time? Have you ever been in a position where you just wish you had that “click” remote? I mean if you could pull out that remote and just stop all production on life you would’ve abused it by now? I am in that season RIGHT now and I want to encourage not only you but myself.

image(Photo credit: Faithclub.org)

The first thing I’ve come to realize is that I’ve cast my cares upon The Lord half heartedly. I’m so flustered because I’ve given him my “junk” but I keep going back to check on it. He has made way after way, answered prayer after prayer and here I am totally frazzled. What I had/have to do is remember, GOD HAS ME! So you know my advice to you is, give it over to him understanding and knowing GOD HAS YOU! He doesn’t need our help to step into our situations, he got this. No matter what storm we are facing in the coming week, day, hour, minute, second, health bad, bills overflowing, GOD got this. He is overseeing us so he already knows what the outcome is. We have to have faith in our Heavenly Father, know that even though it doesn’t feel good or look good it’s going to end in OUR good. You know Vashawn Mitchell’s song “Turning Around For Me?” Well I encourage you to believe those lyrics because as he sang, it won’t always be like this. Believe that sooner or later it’ll turn in my favor!

image(Photo credit: Flickr.com)

I know that many things are ahead of me for the upcoming week so I’m choosing to trust God. When the plot thickens in my life, I’m going to speak life over myself. My cares? I’m going to cast them upon him and believe that he has my back. Though we may get discouraged and think he isn’t moving “fast enough” God got this! Even in our rants or total despair it may even feel like he isn’t for us but HE IS! He is waiting on you to let go of that “junk” and let him discard it properly. I encourage you tonight, when things get tough, get so unbearable to your human strength, call out to him. If you are at work, go to the bathroom and remind yourself “God you got this!” Lord it’s NOT over and I declare this path is going to straighten. What ever situation you find yourself in, just throw your head back, stretch your arms out and start to pray. If you can’t do that then just stop what you are doing, bow your head and start declaring his word and love over yourself. Don’t stay in that moment of frustration, cry out, call out, shout it out, just release the feelings of defeat.  Let’s pray!

Father God,

I come to you with a heart full of thanks! Even though life is beating on me I know you got this. I thank you for sustaining me in the midst of storms, attacks, lack and everything that has come to destroy me. Lord I fall down on my knees, at your feet knowing that you are keeping me. I call upon your name for protection, my needs being met and the spirit of defeat and distress being lifted from me. As you guide me on this path I open my mind and heart to all the blessings you have in store for me. I declare right now father that the storm can’t take me under because you have your hands on me. Father I see you working things out, I believe you are before me knocking down all things/ people looking for my downfall. I am the head and not the tail, all things are working together for my good, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. You have ALL power in YOUR hands Lord, you are the one and only God, I praise and thank you right now in advance for what you are doing. I declare and decree your goodness, your faithfulness and your mercy over all the situations I’m facing God. You have won again! I will have victory, the chains are falling off of me right now,I’m no longer hostage to those negative thoughts! It is in your name I pray and say thank you Lord,

amen

Image

 

So of course today is Sunday August 4th and I had an awesome church service. I walked in with my tithes in my purse and a smile on my face. Why? Because not even a year ago I was one of those people who didn’t know the importance of tithing. I would make excuses as to why I couldn’t pay them. My Pastor stood in front of the congregation and said ” People say they’re on a fixed income but remember who fixes your income.” I remember feeling like a knife went in my chest because that was my top excuse. I had the excuse of well I only have so & so dollars left so if I can’t give that last $60 because I need it. Let me tell you something GOD is supposed to get 10% of your income, that is HIS due. You are being faithful to him in paying your tithes because that shows him not only do you appreciate him for blessing you, but you trust him to supply your needs. 

Image

 

GOD honors you for honoring him and he’s so proud of you for obeying his command. He will take care of ALL of your needs if you take care of his commands and you need to give with an open heart. He doesn’t want you angry you had to give, he wants you to have a smile on your face and a heart that trust him. I can honestly say when I tithed faithfully he poured so many blessing out to me that I honestly didn’t have room enough to receive them. Now I’ve gotten to the point of saying well I might have a $60 bill due but he’s getting his $60 in tithes. That’s the attitude I have about my tithes now, I trust him to refuel and refresh my finances.

Image

 

I’m glad that I’ve reached the spiritual maturity to know that God WILL supply my needs. I don’t have to worry about my financial situation because when I honor him he’ll reward me. It’s so refreshing to bounce down that aisle with my tithes because I know how far I came from. I know that I didn’t have the mindset and faith to believe he’d have my back. I’m praying to him to bless me, not just financially but spiritually and to grow more. When I wasn’t paying my tithes my life felt it and I mean at an all time high. I was going through so many trials and tribulations, storms and I couldn’t catch a break. You should pay your tithes because it’s not your money to hold on to! He doesn’t want to hear ye of little faith, he wants to hear ye of great faith. He knows about your health, your employment needs, your mate wants and desires but if you can’t be faithful to him in something he requires, why would he give you the things you ask? You have to respect, honor, have faith in him and trust him to do his part but you have to do your part as well. Let’s Pray!

Father I come to you today thanking you for being God and being in my life. I thank you for being such an awesome healer, deliverer, provider and protector in my life. You are so amazing and I thank you for who you are to me God, I can’t imagine my life without you in it Father God. I ask that you continue to keep your arms wrapped around me. God I trust you to work out my situation, you know my needs and God I ask that you meet them. Thank you for giving me an income to be able to give you 10% out of. You are so wonderful God, I’m so grateful and thankful God for ALL you do in my life. In your awesome & mighty name I pray,

AMEN

When you hear the word celibate it sends most people running for the hills. Thankfully it was brought to my attention AFTER I decided to commit to GOD with my entire being. If you know me, you know I was raised by a Preacher and a housewife so it shouldn’t of been taboo right? WRONG! Not only were mom and dad Preacher and preacher’s wife but they were from the SOUTH. YOU KNOW that’s like the military don’t ask, don’t tell policy. I was brought up on don’t have sex, no explanation, no talks just DON’T DO IT! So you bet I went straight to the streets to experiment. I won’t speak on all my relationships but about 6 years ago I got in a relationship with a guy who I thought was HIM, IT, THE ONE AND ALL THAT! Long story short we have a 4 year old daughter now who I raise alone. I went through HELL, the trenches and some horrible days the last couple of years with this person. I finally prayed and said “God, I’m going to end this relationship BUT I don’t want to hurt like I did a few months ago when I put him out.” I got off my bed packed his things, dropped them off, got my daughter, went to court for 6 months won custody and was DONE. It was after that I decided to get on the right track with GOD fully. I can honestly say reading different blogs, following high power pastors and people of God brought me through. I was lost and when I connected to other women of God I was learning what was required of me. I decided celibacy was a path I’d take and it’s been 22 months since I made that decision. I have met a few guys but when they hear me say I’m celibate they look for the nearest exit. I’m saving myself for my husband and that will NOT be changed by anyone who just wants my body and to run off. Now I know God smiles on me for honoring his commands. The way I see it is; if a man truly loves you he won’t taint your body before he commits solely to you. He’ll know his worth and respect that you know yours and marry you. Are you familiar with the term “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” Yes sex IS CREATED FOR MARRIAGE, not for anybody who just wants a 5 second thrill and will be in the next persons bed in 10 minutes. All you do is create a soul tie ( a connection through sharing your body with someone who is not your husband) and leave you broken and your body used. I’ve heard people say well it’s just a piece of paper, yes it is a piece of paper that GOD created and designed for us to be committed and create families through. I’ve heard people say well don’t you have a daughter? YES I DO, I had premarital sex and in turn have become a single mother because that person wasn’t the right one for me and doesn’t do his part so I learned from my mistakes. Let’s discuss some pros of being celibate

1. YOU GET TO KNOW THE PERSON: This shows you who the person is, where their morals are, if they have a relationship with Christ, if they respect their body and yours.

2. YOU CAN BUILD A FRIENDSHIP: It allows you to be friends, have fun, learn about each other,  and IF they are right for you then you can start to date

3. YOU LEARN WHO CARES FOR YOU AND WHO JUST WANTS YOUR BODY: most men/women who come trying to get with you have NO intention of marrying you. You just share your body with them and that isn’t going to keep them. You’ve just tied your soul to them and they are off to the next person who’ll have the.

4. YOU ARE WALKING IN GOD’S WILL: God is smiling on you and will in turn send you a mate that you can be courted by or court. He’ll send you that one person who you are designed to be with and who you can have a family with. If you honor him then he’ll in turn honor you, your life and your marriage.

5. YOU CHERISH YOURSELF SO THAT YOU DON’T ACCEPT ANYTHING BUT THE BEST: It’s amazing to have standards and once you cherish yourself, you will only accept the best. You won’t tolerate cheating, lying and disrespect! You will require he/she has a relationship with Christ. Not just going to church, bible study and reading their bible, their works will show. They will be living the word out in front of your eyes.