Archives for posts with tag: ENCOURAGEMENT

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Wow, it has been some time since I have blogged or really done anything related to BFPH. I’m NOT proud of that so here I am trying to revamp it. I remember being in a really healthy spiritual and emotional place when I first started BFPH. Things have changed in my life this year and I’m going to speak briefly about it. This blog (and others) have been on my heart but I just didn’t share it but look out for it because I’ll be posting more and more about my journey this year. Let’s dive right into this blog though.

So, early this year I had the chance to meet a pretty nice guy. We talked, he knew God, he honored my decision to be celibate until marriage and he is a parent. I fell for him rather quickly but kept my feelings to myself until I got the official word for him on his feelings. In April, he expressed to me wanting to keep things light and I was devastated but I went with it. In May, he decided that he wanted more and told me he loved me. I was overjoyed and excited to be in a relationship because after all, I’d been single for 4 years. We communicated well, I was able to open up to him about my past hurts, he was supportive of me reuniting my daughter with her father and just was the man of my dreams. I thanked God nightly for him and we began to speak of marriage a few weeks later. I was really over the moon because as you’ve read previously on my blog I deeply desired marriage and thought God had blessed me with this gift and it was about to happen.

Fast forward down a few more months and I had been getting advice from different sources on what to expect in the next phase of our life. I called my Pastor’s wife for her expertise when we had those little arguments and I was actively preparing to be a wife. Now, I know you can NEVER be fully prepared or prepare to be married but I knew there were little issues I had that I’d need to work on before I could marry this man. I did that work and in my mind all things were a go, for him it was not. Recently, we had a petty argument/misunderstanding that I thought we’d brush over. He had been experiencing mixed feelings and decided he wanted to go another direction with his life. Now this has left me baffled, confused, hurt, shocked and so many other things. I’ve been filled with anger and I’ve acted it out on him and I am not happy about that. You just don’t know how you are going to react to someone who has hurt you very deeply. He has been really vocal about his disdain for my treatment of him. I thought how dare he tell me about how he feels after he has driven a knife through my heart and twisted it? The gall of some people but he is right! Just because I am hurting, my job as a daughter of Christ is to still show love and be kind. But how do you show the love of Christ when you are mad at Christ? Yes, I said it, I am angry with Christ because I felt he should’ve saved me from this pain. That’s a trip isn’t it? I’m smart enough to know that God isn’t at fault for this, I am! My relationship with Christ wasn’t even strong when I entered the relationship but here I was expecting him to honor it. I had begun slipping in my bible studies, engaged in some inappropriate conversations with this man but I expected God to cover me in it?

Well my first and most important priority should have been to get right with the Savior. I should’ve stayed connected to the vine instead of running off trying to become married. I should have been working to become whole in Christ instead of making this man my primary focus and neglecting Christ. Truthfully, God spoke to me MANY times in that relationship and gave me warnings not to make him my mini god. I did not listen because I wanted it so bad, I was willing to run through all the warnings and stop signs to get to my fleshly desires.

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Now I know to hear that the suffering we go through is a blessing can sound like an insult, right? I know first hand that I cried my heart, eyes and soul out due to the hardships of life. Isn’t it strange how we can go through something that we feel we can’t bare and we serve this awesome God, but where is he???? Like, what God would treat his children like this? What Loving father would allow you to lose your job, your spouse, your home, your mother or father, right? A good God and if you continue reading I’m going to help you see why he is worthy to be praised in the midst of these and many more troubles. James 1, verse two tells us that when we see trouble this is time to be happy. Sounds impossible up against what you’re facing right now huh? It is not because God has brought you to it to change you in the trouble. A lot of our troubles are troubles because we’ve seen in our past and maybe we didn’t handle it so here it comes again. In my particular case, my faith was a thing I just could not get right to save my entire life and I’d prayed to be more trusting of God so he gave me the opportunity.

A few months ago my family and I started having problems with our landlord. Oh he’s been taking us through the ringer theses days. I’m talking rent increase, 90 day notices, attorneys threatening me and I just freaked out. I cried, I stressed, I doubted, but in the end God came through. He sent a news anchor to tell our story on the most popular new station and in turn our landlord retracted. I was so ecstatic and thanked God for showing up and out in our situation. Now fast forward to February 12, 2015 and here comes this SAME attorney in my emails with a whole new notice. I opened it and low and behold our landlord has decided to sale the place. Ohhhh did I get upset and immediately begin to freak out once AGAIN, crying and screaming BUT I heard “o ye of little faith”.

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I’d reached out to multiple attorneys offices and even called my friend at the news station and they were of little help. Then I remembered, HEY, you have been through this and the same God that saved you from this situation last time will have glory in this situation too. I checked myself and thanked God for bringing me back to this situation to strengthen my faith. See, God equips us with exactly what we need, we just have to be faithful and humble enough to endure and grow from our troubles. I know the growing period and learning phase can feel like it is goingto end your life. I submit to you today to ask GOD, “What lesson are you teaching me in this?” “Where can I grow and how can I do better this next time around?” I promise when you see your trials and tribulations in this light you will feel so much better because it brings you back to the rock. God is standing right there waiting for you to exercise your faith and even pray to him, he is waiting on you to call upon him. He operates in the impossible, in your faith he is at work and all you have to do is believe he is here for you.

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Right now, just lay across your bed, couch or even drop to your knees and say God forgive me for missing the lesson. Lord I know you are faithful, I know you will bring me through so I hand it over to you right here today. I will not stress, doubt or worry about what man can do because you surpass it all. Lord I hear your teaching, I submit to your direction and I praise you for this time of suffering because in it I am made stronger and wiser. Father I outstretch my arms as I lay, stand or kneel acknowledging you for all that you are and welcoming in your spirit to guide me. Forgive me father for(name your sin/doubt) and create in me a new mind and understanding. This is my prayer, my request unto you Oh God. Amen

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If you are in need of prayer, reach out in the comments and I’ll email you. We can walk this path together, connected through God’s love. You have help, you have a prayer partner if you need one and God will see you through. God bless you!

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This bible verse just completely wrecked me when I read it. Lately, I’ve been seeking God and honestly it has not been with my whole heart. What I mean by that is, I have been hesitant to completely surrender unto him. I’ve been really honest about my walk and my struggles. I wanted to put in a half effort and get great results and of course I learned, God isn’t going to allow that. I have recently been reading a lot of spiritual books, doing a little meditation and increasing my prayer life. Things have been tense but I still know that God has a plan for me, I just need to be still and trust him.

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Today just so happens to be my daughter’s 6th birthday and although I had a great time, my mind was running. Thinking about how I am going to make ends meet and it became overwhelming. As I pulled down her decorations I remembered that I was supposed to start my Jesus Calling devotional yesterday. I came into my room, book in hand and decided I was going to start reading it. As I began to read the introduction, I felt an overwhelming feeling to lay down. I ignored my body but kept on reading and I heard God saying to me, “surrender”. I kept reading trying to ignore the voice I had heard and I heard it again, “surrender”. Now, I’ve heard of this type of thing but I always quietly doubted it because it hadn’t happened to me.

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I could not even believe that God was pulling at my heart strings like that. He knew my “secret” of trying to run from him so he came and got me. When I say I ended up sprawled out, across my bed with tears streaming down my face, I mean it. All I could do was say, “Lord, I surrender” over and over again! I began to tell him that I’m handing it over to him, the guilt, the shame, the impatience, the impurities, the questioning and doubting him. I could not get up and as I poured my heart out to him, I slowly felt a warm peace come over me. I just laid there with my face in my covers and my eyes closed for a minute as he soothed my worried mind. Before I knew it, all that heaviness I’ve been carrying around for weeks just melted right off of me. I didn’t worry about how people would judge me because of the way my life has been going for the past couple of years. I found comfort in Jeremiah 29:11. I felt comfort in the fact that he has a plan for me and in due time, he will reveal it. I don’t have to stack myself up against someone else’s success because he has me in a special spot. He knows the plans he has for me and my season isn’t here yet but he is working behind the scenes for me. He definitely loves me and he has great things in store for me. No matter how tough things get, he is not leaving me but shaping and molding me. Let’s Pray!

Father God,

I come to you now thanking you for revealing yourself to me in a special way. I thank you for hearing my fears, seeing my tears and coming to remind me of your love for me. Lord, this journey may not be easy but you have not and will not leave me. Father I know that you have my best interest at heart and I bless your name for hiding me until I am more mature spiritually. I know that you have great plans for me and you have come to get your daughter and reassure me that everything is going to be okay. Thank you Lord for loving me even when I didn’t want it. Forgive me for pushing you away and doubting your capabilities in my situation. I surrender unto your direction, unto your word and cast all my burdens upon you because I know you will take care of them. Thank you for sustaining me and continuing to open spiritual doors for me to walk through and learn. It is in your mighty name I pray,

Amen

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I’m feeling very compelled to write this blog because I believe someone else needs this word. Fear of stepping out can be very crippling, it is very scary and also leaves us stagnant. If you are like myself, you can talk yourself out of ANYTHING! I mean meet your next steps with excuses and literally not move from your comfort zone because you are frozen with fear. In this blog I want to help someone get free from the spirit of stagnancy, fear and encourage you to move forward. Something I haven’t disclosed to anyone is, God placed a vision on my heart BUT I haven’t been obedient and it’s eating me up. I began talking myself out of it, making excuses but I know God’s plan for me is good. He knows I’m in a state of fear but I hear him calling me to move. I had to literally silence the voice of fear in my head and say, “Hush, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – Philippians 4:13 .” In God’s word he has already assured us that we are equipped through him. You don’t need validation from man, he will provide the money to bring it to pass all because you are being obedient to him.

 

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I encourage you to examine why you are fearful. If it is because of rejection just know God wouldn’t have placed it on your heart if he didn’t have people to receive it. He wants this “thing” to be brought to the people because it will help someone. You will bring someone in to him, falling on their face and connecting with our awesome God. If it is because you feel you’re too messed up or have done too much wrong, you’ve been forgiven. I always say there is healing in the process, there is growth in our pain! I struggled for a long time with the opinion of people because they know my past. The simple truth is when you repented GOD wiped your slate clean and doesn’t hold who you once were against you. The opinion of people means absolutely NOTHING when God already stamped his approval on it. When God is handing out blessings he doesn’t ask anyone for their opinion or what you did. He judges you off of the pureness in your heart so shake that off.

 

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The next thing you should do is trust God enough to move when he tells you to. You may be praying and saying you have faith but not showing it. What if God has your blessing at the next step of where you are supposed to be stepping? You could literally be holding yourself back just by not being obedient. If you are not sure how to move your feet, PRAY and ask for the wisdom. I’ve been reading The book of Proverbs lately because I want more wisdom. In Proverbs you are constantly reminded of what a blessing it is to be wise. God will direct you and guide you through the vision he places on your heart. He will NEVER place it in your heart to leave you out wondering if he is there with you as you follow his vision for you.

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Bare Faces Pure Hearts is something God placed in my heart in November 2013. I fought it, I didn’t believe it was from him and I was even scared to share it with people. Again, I felt like people really advanced in the bible would question me. I also felt people would have trouble receiving it from a woman so young. I had so many thoughts, so many excuses BUT I finally followed God’s direction and created a platform for it. This ministry focuses on Single Christian Women who are celibate, interested in becoming celibate and need encouragement through the word of God. I’m pouring back into women that all the standards of beauty in the world are not relevant because God has told us in his word what true beauty is. I’ve been through a storm but God delivered me and is now using me as a vessel to bring his love for us back into focus. ( Follow @barefacespurehearts on Instagram) Let’s pray!

 

Father,

Here I am, your vessel needing a touch from you. You’ve given me a vision and I ask that you release the spirit of fear from my life. I want to spread your word, follow your direction and I know your plans for me are GREAT. As I travel this journey called life, I ask that you keep your hand on me and elevate me because I am now ready. Lord thank you for choosing me in spite of my past and the opinions of others. I’m so happy you see the best in me even when I don’t feel at my best Lord. In your awesome and mighty name I pray,

Amen

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We often say this very term, “God I trust you”. Now we can stick with that until the storm starts to rage on and on and on. This week has been really trying for me, I’ve faced some major setbacks but little did I know God was setting me up for a major comeback. Have you ever had those days where you were praying and telling God how you knew he’d turn it around BUT it didn’t happen on YOUR time so you got discouraged? We are all strong in faith until God lets us go through a little more. God wants to see if you really trust him so he’ll sit back and say OKAY, let me throw a little monkey in that plan and see if he/she REALLY trust me. By the third day you are stretched out on your bed, crying, asking GOD why he’d do such a thing like this to you, ready to give up and even regretting being a Christian. Don’t look at the screen like I’m not telling the truth!

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I’m here to remind you that when you tell GOD that you trust him, you better show it! Don’t say I trust you Lord, I know you’re working it out and then go trying to do his job. HE is GOD and GOD alone, he doesn’t need your help so sit back and keep the faith. Praise him out loud, thank him for what you are trusting and believing him to do. I don’t care if you have 6 kids and 2 pieces of steak in your freezer, God will multiply it. He will send resources for you to feed those children. If your gas tank is on “E” and you know you have to go to work all week, he’ll provide a way for you to get to work. TRUST HIM, genuinely seek his face and keep telling him you know he’ll work it out and just like that he’ll sustain you. It may be through someone else but he WILL come through, trust me I just went through it this past week.