Archives for posts with tag: FutureWives

image

Wow, it has been some time since I have blogged or really done anything related to BFPH. I’m NOT proud of that so here I am trying to revamp it. I remember being in a really healthy spiritual and emotional place when I first started BFPH. Things have changed in my life this year and I’m going to speak briefly about it. This blog (and others) have been on my heart but I just didn’t share it but look out for it because I’ll be posting more and more about my journey this year. Let’s dive right into this blog though.

So, early this year I had the chance to meet a pretty nice guy. We talked, he knew God, he honored my decision to be celibate until marriage and he is a parent. I fell for him rather quickly but kept my feelings to myself until I got the official word for him on his feelings. In April, he expressed to me wanting to keep things light and I was devastated but I went with it. In May, he decided that he wanted more and told me he loved me. I was overjoyed and excited to be in a relationship because after all, I’d been single for 4 years. We communicated well, I was able to open up to him about my past hurts, he was supportive of me reuniting my daughter with her father and just was the man of my dreams. I thanked God nightly for him and we began to speak of marriage a few weeks later. I was really over the moon because as you’ve read previously on my blog I deeply desired marriage and thought God had blessed me with this gift and it was about to happen.

Fast forward down a few more months and I had been getting advice from different sources on what to expect in the next phase of our life. I called my Pastor’s wife for her expertise when we had those little arguments and I was actively preparing to be a wife. Now, I know you can NEVER be fully prepared or prepare to be married but I knew there were little issues I had that I’d need to work on before I could marry this man. I did that work and in my mind all things were a go, for him it was not. Recently, we had a petty argument/misunderstanding that I thought we’d brush over. He had been experiencing mixed feelings and decided he wanted to go another direction with his life. Now this has left me baffled, confused, hurt, shocked and so many other things. I’ve been filled with anger and I’ve acted it out on him and I am not happy about that. You just don’t know how you are going to react to someone who has hurt you very deeply. He has been really vocal about his disdain for my treatment of him. I thought how dare he tell me about how he feels after he has driven a knife through my heart and twisted it? The gall of some people but he is right! Just because I am hurting, my job as a daughter of Christ is to still show love and be kind. But how do you show the love of Christ when you are mad at Christ? Yes, I said it, I am angry with Christ because I felt he should’ve saved me from this pain. That’s a trip isn’t it? I’m smart enough to know that God isn’t at fault for this, I am! My relationship with Christ wasn’t even strong when I entered the relationship but here I was expecting him to honor it. I had begun slipping in my bible studies, engaged in some inappropriate conversations with this man but I expected God to cover me in it?

Well my first and most important priority should have been to get right with the Savior. I should’ve stayed connected to the vine instead of running off trying to become married. I should have been working to become whole in Christ instead of making this man my primary focus and neglecting Christ. Truthfully, God spoke to me MANY times in that relationship and gave me warnings not to make him my mini god. I did not listen because I wanted it so bad, I was willing to run through all the warnings and stop signs to get to my fleshly desires.

image

 

As a single Christian woman you have definitely heard of Boaz. From women saying “waiting for my Boaz” to women saying “don’t rush for your Boaz”. This immediately was intriguing to me but I hadn’t read my bible so I kind of stuck with the “standard” of Boaz. Once I opened my bible I saw that Boaz was a great protector, a good guy but he didn’t have eyes for Ruth. He saw Ruth for her value but he didn’t particularly show an interest in her for a life partner/wife. How many times have WE settled for some one? How many times have we made ourselves available to a man who we hadn’t got confirmation was even interested in us? MANY TIMES! I know this was a leading reason I kept ending up heartbroken, because I wasn’t chosen, I chose.

 

image

 

Walking through the text I came upon Ruth 2:5 where we can confirm Boaz saw Ruth and inquired about who she was. Ruth 2:5 says ,Then Boaz spoke to his servant who was in charge of the workers He asked, “Whose girl is that?” 6. The servant answered, “She is the Moabite woman who came with Naomi from the country of Moab. 7. She came early this morning and asked me if she could follow the workers and gather the grain that was left on the ground. She rested only a short time in that shelter”. You can read on later but this particular passage showed that Boaz was a good guy, he looked out for Ruth. He admired the woman she was, up early trying to find a way to help her mother in law Naomi.

 

 

Once you get into Ruth chapter 3 you can see where Naomi tells Ruth how to get close to Boaz. Keep in mind Boaz is willing to help Ruth, thinks highly of her but he still hasn’t shown a romantic interest in her. Her mother in law, Naomi told her to sit at the feet of Boaz and ask him about marriage. Boaz gives Ruth his word that if the next relative in line will not take her, he will. Now that part right there is where we get to see how the standard of Boaz just doesn’t stand. We know that if you are a great woman, a guy ready for a wife will not pass up on you. He’s not going to risk losing you to someone else because he KNOWS you are worth having. Needless to say, the relative declined because he wanted to keep his own land and didn’t want to risk it. Now that right here speaks volumes because the relative wouldn’t give up his land but Boaz would pass up on such a woman as Ruth? Hmmmmm… The plot thickens.

 

Womans-heart_2

 

Boaz does go on to marry Ruth in Ruth Chapter 4 and they even have a son who Ruth gives to Naomi. She knew that Naomi had been given some pain in the loss of husband and sons, so she shared her son with Naomi. Now the thing I have a problem with is, as single Christian women, we are placing ourselves at the feet of men. You know how you have been single for a certain amount of time and you start to go ahead of God? You get sick of having no companionship so you become the flirtatious woman, start approaching men all for the sake of having one? It won’t work because that is not who God has for you. Sure, you can have someone introduce you to a man but if he doesn’t pursue you then he isn’t for you.

In Ruth, I can say she ended up having the happy ending but for single Christian women, you are worth being found. No man should see your value, see what a wonderful servant of God you are but take you on because no one else will. That is an uncomfortable feeling for me, just being  man’s pick because there is no one else to have me and he knows I desire marriage so he takes me on? No, I just can’t agree with that, wrap my heart/head around that notion. Boaz was a great demonstration of how a man will cover you, provide for you but in a relationship aspect, I’m not so sure.

 

As single Christian women,God has a standard for us and if we are obedient, he will bring us a mate. No matter how lonely our nights get, how many years we have to be single, WAIT on God. It might be a struggle but it is so worth it in the end. I’ve been single for 3 years now, I long for marriage, I’m working on my obedience to God but going before his plan just isn’t an option for me. I know that God has someone for me and in his timing, I will be found and be the only pick for him. It might be times I get sad, lonely, frustrated, but I’d rather all those emotions than being a leftover. When you are going through those hard single phases, pray to God and cast your cares upon him. Pour your heart out to God, vent that emotion to him, he is listening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

image(Photo credit : http://www.puzzlepuzzles.com)

I was having a conversation about a recent situation and this bible verse just repeated in my head. It’s amazing how we can be tight with someone and they reveal their heart to you. In the book of  Psalms, Chapter 23 vs. 5 it makes it clear to you that God has a plan when this happens. Sure, like I did,you may wonder if all along this/these people ever were truly for you. In Psalms 23:5 it reads “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows”. This verse is so powerful because the pain of releasing toxic, using, just around to get your business or fake friend people is only part of the preparation. God has to purge you of these people because he has amazing things ahead for you. When they turn their back on you, reveal their heart and try to start problems it is only because they can’t go with you. Sure it is hurtful because you thought these were your friends BUT they are not and he is walking you toward true friends. He will make sure they have a front row seat to your success because he shows his power in his works. People believe where you are is as far as you’ll go but they aren’t aware of the God you serve and his plans for your life.

 

image(Photo credit: wishafriend.com

 

No matter how bad it hurts just remember the goodness of God will cover you. If you are going through these situations and trials he will heal your heart. When you have a heart for God, he swoops down on you and screams to your enemies to back up! He immediately goes to work on your wounds, you just have to be open to the healing process. Yes, you will have good days and bad but it’s all part of the grieving process. The healing for me was to decide not to speak about it anymore but to pray when I’m feeling down. Yes, the people that hurt you will more than likely want an explanation but it is ok to tell them, it’s behind me and I choose to move forward. Once YOU have prayed to God for healing and a forgiving heart, that is the end of it. They can seek their own guidance outside of you! It might sound harsh but you have to remain in the goodness of God. If you relive it with people, you are going to disrupt your progress and get out of the right head and heart space.

 

image(Photo credit: google images)

In the wake of betrayal and hurt you just get to a point where you decide to move forward. In the bible there are several verses that can assist you in moving on and forward. One thing you can not stop doing is praying, this will bring you through. I believe God has so much in store for me and on the way that he had to excuse people from my life. I’m now more aware of the wolves in sheep clothing so it won’t happen again. Just like in a relationship, you are cautious of who you allow in your life (hopefully) so you have to be that way with potential friends as well. I also know to only entertain people with a heart after Christ. I will entertain people who want to follow Christ but don’t know where to start because they show the desire. I know not to become friends with people who don’t share my same morals, values and lifestyle because they aren’t ready for a friendship with me. They have to come to an awakening and want better for themselves or they won’t be able to give fully to a friendship. Let’s pray!

 

Father,

I come to you thanking you for your love, protection, forgiveness and mercy. Thank you for healing my heart and showing me that where I am is not where I am staying. Thank you for removing the bad because I believe you are preparing to introduce me with good. I thank you for the pain before the preparation because it is working for my good. Going forward Lord please surround me with people who have a heart for you. My desire is to bring more people to you and make your kingdom full with believers and win over unbelievers. I know that you will heal my heart further and I’m looking forward to the greater that is coming. My prayer for the future is that you give me the discernment and strength to release people who are coming to me with ill intentions. Reveal them Father! I also pray for the people who were shown not to be right in my life. Work on them, work in them and give them a heart that convicts and repents. It is in your name these things are counted done and I Pray,

 

Amen

 

image

Don’t forget! I run a Single Christian ladies ministry and it has been such a blessing! It is called Bare Faces Pure Hearts and I’d love to encourage and connect with you on your social media. I’m also merging/ leading another Singles Ministry but I’ll release more information on that in the future! God bless you and share, repost and spread my blogs if they are a blessing to you! I’m standing with you in prayer as always! -Ms. McDonald

Twitter: @Wogmovement25

Instagram: @barefacespurehearts