Archives for posts with tag: Marriage

 

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Hello Brothers & Sisters in Christ, it’s been several months since I’ve blogged. Life has been both bitter sweet for me since November but God IS STILL good and faithful! I’m currently in the middle of wedding planning, back working and trying my best to keep this diabetes in range to be healthy. Pray for and with me as I continue to walk this journey we call life.

Today in particular I got hit with a major curve ball. I’d made this dental appointment four months ago and have been looking forward to it. Well this afternoon I got a call from the office and the receptionist had some financial news for me. She says hey, you have a $567 share of cost, did you know this? My heart sank into my chest because I knew by Monday I wouldn’t be able to pay this. I bellowed out WHAT???!! She says yes, according to documents you’ve submitted, you make too much to qualify for your regular plan. We chatted some more and to make a long story short, I had to give up this appointment. I immediately became angry and began to cry because I hadn’t been informed of this.

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I just sat in my kitchen, tears streaming down my cheeks asking God why. I kept saying Lord, what is this? What is your plan? I said some colorful words too (just being honest) and paced back and forth as I kept pouring out my frustration and sadness to God. It was silent but even in my frustration, even in my anger and even in my sadness, I just choose to believe. I’m not sure why things went awry but I trust God has good reasoning for it.

I find it is so easy to allow the devil to steal your peace or your joy. I had to take my power back, popped on my gospel music and began to praise. My soul is at peace because I know God has my back. His ways and his plan are perfect and if you just hold on a little while he’ll reveal it. Exercise your faith in the midst of adversity and tell God, “Lord I choose to believe, your will your way”. No matter what comes your way, you will absolutely be okay. Not sure who said it first but faith it until you make it and I promise you, it will turn in your favor. Let’s Pray!

Most faithful and powerful Lord,

I come to you now with a open heart and mind. Thank you for protecting me, providing for me and seeing in me what I don’t even see in myself. Father I am faced with what seems like a hardship but I know you’ll make it alright. I choose to believe in you and exercise my faith because you are faithful. I choose to wait on the revelation of your plan and praise you in the midst of it all. Thank you Lord for my husband to be, my daughter and please watch over us as we sleep tonight. In your son Jesus Christ name I do pray, Amen.

 

 

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I know at times it can be hard to feel and be connected to God. Sometimes it is a lack of faith, current health situation, feeling abandoned by him or just not putting in that work. Are you ashamed to admit it? Do you feel it makes you less of a Christian? Are you angry at God? Well it is normal to have those feelings when you are operating outside of your connection. I can totally relate as I’m going through the season currently. I’ll share with you what is helping me and my prayer is that it will bless you.

Recently, things have gone up and down in my life. From my health to finances to family woes, it has been really trying. I went from studying my word, blogging regularly, praying consistently and connecting to God to none of that. I am going to be honest because someone needs to hear this! It went from thirsting for God’s word to always complaint and throwing myself pity parties. Little by little I stopped reading my bible plan, skipping morning prayer, blogging sporadically and not doing God’s business. Why? Because I became upset with God and where he had me, I felt abandoned. I became so flesh led that I thought “turning my back on him” was hurting him (wow right?). I never realized how much it was hurting me and ruining our connection.

One day I had this profound thought and it was to return to him with my entire heart and soul. I was expecting so much in MY time that I didn’t even acknowledge his timing is perfect. I had to find a way to get back to him so I decided little by little to plug back in. Making prayer my starting point of the day is back on my list. If you want to reconnect to God you HAVE to talk to him and center yourself in his presence without interruption. Don’t give him a quick second and go about your day giving all of yourself to everything/everyone else.

Get in your word: You have to know his word to connect to him because in his silence, his word ALWAYS speaks. That prayer and Bible together is your direct line and connection to him. That is as close as you can get to him when seeking that reconnect. I still struggle because I have that battle of the flesh vs. what I know I should be doing.

Limit distractions: For me, social media can be VERY distracting! If it causes you to covet, lust, question God or spend less time with God, CUT IT until you are spiritually mature. I left Facebook almost 2 years ago and I just deleted Instagram a week ago because I’m not spiritually mature enough to balance. I’ll admit I found myself coveting, questioning and then getting upset with God for where he has me.

Buy yourself some books and read encouraging blogs: I purchased a few books that will pour into me and grow me spiritually. I also browse blogs that have an encouraging word and bring me back. Writing blogs is also a great way to check myself and pour into someone else facing my struggles. I’m brutally honest in my blogs because I want people to know, YES I struggle with these things. I’m not ashamed to share it because I’m better because of it and you will be too.

Have a heart-to-heart with God: Don’t be ashamed, embarrassed or too filled with pride to speak to God. He wants to hear from you! He is waiting for you and I to find our way back. He welcomes us back with open arms and doesn’t beat us down because of our disconnect. Pour your heart out, get back in his presence, start anew and most of all plug back in, your signal is strong.

Standing with you in prayer,

BareFacesPureHearts

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Well where do you start when you just have the need to freeze time? Have you ever been in a position where you just wish you had that “click” remote? I mean if you could pull out that remote and just stop all production on life you would’ve abused it by now? I am in that season RIGHT now and I want to encourage not only you but myself.

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The first thing I’ve come to realize is that I’ve cast my cares upon The Lord half heartedly. I’m so flustered because I’ve given him my “junk” but I keep going back to check on it. He has made way after way, answered prayer after prayer and here I am totally frazzled. What I had/have to do is remember, GOD HAS ME! So you know my advice to you is, give it over to him understanding and knowing GOD HAS YOU! He doesn’t need our help to step into our situations, he got this. No matter what storm we are facing in the coming week, day, hour, minute, second, health bad, bills overflowing, GOD got this. He is overseeing us so he already knows what the outcome is. We have to have faith in our Heavenly Father, know that even though it doesn’t feel good or look good it’s going to end in OUR good. You know Vashawn Mitchell’s song “Turning Around For Me?” Well I encourage you to believe those lyrics because as he sang, it won’t always be like this. Believe that sooner or later it’ll turn in my favor!

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I know that many things are ahead of me for the upcoming week so I’m choosing to trust God. When the plot thickens in my life, I’m going to speak life over myself. My cares? I’m going to cast them upon him and believe that he has my back. Though we may get discouraged and think he isn’t moving “fast enough” God got this! Even in our rants or total despair it may even feel like he isn’t for us but HE IS! He is waiting on you to let go of that “junk” and let him discard it properly. I encourage you tonight, when things get tough, get so unbearable to your human strength, call out to him. If you are at work, go to the bathroom and remind yourself “God you got this!” Lord it’s NOT over and I declare this path is going to straighten. What ever situation you find yourself in, just throw your head back, stretch your arms out and start to pray. If you can’t do that then just stop what you are doing, bow your head and start declaring his word and love over yourself. Don’t stay in that moment of frustration, cry out, call out, shout it out, just release the feelings of defeat.  Let’s pray!

Father God,

I come to you with a heart full of thanks! Even though life is beating on me I know you got this. I thank you for sustaining me in the midst of storms, attacks, lack and everything that has come to destroy me. Lord I fall down on my knees, at your feet knowing that you are keeping me. I call upon your name for protection, my needs being met and the spirit of defeat and distress being lifted from me. As you guide me on this path I open my mind and heart to all the blessings you have in store for me. I declare right now father that the storm can’t take me under because you have your hands on me. Father I see you working things out, I believe you are before me knocking down all things/ people looking for my downfall. I am the head and not the tail, all things are working together for my good, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. You have ALL power in YOUR hands Lord, you are the one and only God, I praise and thank you right now in advance for what you are doing. I declare and decree your goodness, your faithfulness and your mercy over all the situations I’m facing God. You have won again! I will have victory, the chains are falling off of me right now,I’m no longer hostage to those negative thoughts! It is in your name I pray and say thank you Lord,

amen

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I’m feeling very compelled to write this blog because I believe someone else needs this word. Fear of stepping out can be very crippling, it is very scary and also leaves us stagnant. If you are like myself, you can talk yourself out of ANYTHING! I mean meet your next steps with excuses and literally not move from your comfort zone because you are frozen with fear. In this blog I want to help someone get free from the spirit of stagnancy, fear and encourage you to move forward. Something I haven’t disclosed to anyone is, God placed a vision on my heart BUT I haven’t been obedient and it’s eating me up. I began talking myself out of it, making excuses but I know God’s plan for me is good. He knows I’m in a state of fear but I hear him calling me to move. I had to literally silence the voice of fear in my head and say, “Hush, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – Philippians 4:13 .” In God’s word he has already assured us that we are equipped through him. You don’t need validation from man, he will provide the money to bring it to pass all because you are being obedient to him.

 

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I encourage you to examine why you are fearful. If it is because of rejection just know God wouldn’t have placed it on your heart if he didn’t have people to receive it. He wants this “thing” to be brought to the people because it will help someone. You will bring someone in to him, falling on their face and connecting with our awesome God. If it is because you feel you’re too messed up or have done too much wrong, you’ve been forgiven. I always say there is healing in the process, there is growth in our pain! I struggled for a long time with the opinion of people because they know my past. The simple truth is when you repented GOD wiped your slate clean and doesn’t hold who you once were against you. The opinion of people means absolutely NOTHING when God already stamped his approval on it. When God is handing out blessings he doesn’t ask anyone for their opinion or what you did. He judges you off of the pureness in your heart so shake that off.

 

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The next thing you should do is trust God enough to move when he tells you to. You may be praying and saying you have faith but not showing it. What if God has your blessing at the next step of where you are supposed to be stepping? You could literally be holding yourself back just by not being obedient. If you are not sure how to move your feet, PRAY and ask for the wisdom. I’ve been reading The book of Proverbs lately because I want more wisdom. In Proverbs you are constantly reminded of what a blessing it is to be wise. God will direct you and guide you through the vision he places on your heart. He will NEVER place it in your heart to leave you out wondering if he is there with you as you follow his vision for you.

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Bare Faces Pure Hearts is something God placed in my heart in November 2013. I fought it, I didn’t believe it was from him and I was even scared to share it with people. Again, I felt like people really advanced in the bible would question me. I also felt people would have trouble receiving it from a woman so young. I had so many thoughts, so many excuses BUT I finally followed God’s direction and created a platform for it. This ministry focuses on Single Christian Women who are celibate, interested in becoming celibate and need encouragement through the word of God. I’m pouring back into women that all the standards of beauty in the world are not relevant because God has told us in his word what true beauty is. I’ve been through a storm but God delivered me and is now using me as a vessel to bring his love for us back into focus. ( Follow @barefacespurehearts on Instagram) Let’s pray!

 

Father,

Here I am, your vessel needing a touch from you. You’ve given me a vision and I ask that you release the spirit of fear from my life. I want to spread your word, follow your direction and I know your plans for me are GREAT. As I travel this journey called life, I ask that you keep your hand on me and elevate me because I am now ready. Lord thank you for choosing me in spite of my past and the opinions of others. I’m so happy you see the best in me even when I don’t feel at my best Lord. In your awesome and mighty name I pray,

Amen

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Have you ever had to swallow a big slice of “humble pie” and it went down like glass? I mean it was such a beautifully decorated piece of pie but the taste was awful! Something you never would touch again, something you’d warn your friends about when they got a plate to get a slice? Well I’m glad because I’d like to change your mind and ask you to try many slices because there is growth and lessons in each bite.

 

For quite some time I’ve been praying for God to help me change, help me grow and just do a total work in me. The shock was in how much I’d have to change the person I’d always been. I was raised very well, great person, would give you the shirt off my back, run across a busy freeway to rescue you BUT I was broken in many ways. Even with all those qualities, I needed a touch from God and at one point fought the process. Lately, I’ve been praying for God to convict me in gossiping, my “potty” mouth, parenting and in my areas that could be harmful to my future spouse. What I didn’t know was how hard it would be and how defensive I’d become when he did check me on it.

A few weeks ago I was engaging in a conversation FULL of gossip, I mean just laughing, enjoying, going back and forth with new developments and all in. Clear as day, as if God were on three way with me I heard ” That’s gossip”! Ohhhhh that smile wiped from my face, the laughter stopped abruptly and I immediately started correcting the conversation and got out of it. When I hung up, I started making excuses for the behavior and it felt so wrong but I felt like “God understands, he knows my heart”. Did I even know my own heart in the moment? No! 

Also, with my daughter I’ve been facing some challenges with giving her my full time. Yes, I’m getting better daily but I did make up lots of excuses to hide my mess. The pride in my heart was saying, I raise her alone, she’s with me everyday, I deserve some time to “be an adult” and she is just going to have to find something to occupy herself  sometimes. The conviction God gave me was, you aren’t spending as much time with her as you can, she is a child so you have to nurture her and even though she is with you daily, if you push her away she is going to feel unwanted, unimportant and like your “adult time” is more important than listening to her 30 second story. This is so raw for me to write but it is my TRUTH and I’m better because of God humbling me. Now I make it a conscience effort to hold her, kiss her, sing silly songs with her, tell her I love her, give her my undivided attention and erase the adult time to cater to her and connect with her. Yes it IS work, yes it IS challenging BUT I’m working daily to do it, I’m praying hard to continue doing it, I’m joining parenting plans in my bible app that remind me of the gift that she is and all children are.

Another area is my “potty” mouth and yes I’m totally embarrassed about it and you better believe I’m praying for God to cleanse me of it. Back in the days where I wasn’t so open to having a relationship with Christ, just identifying myself as Christian I wasn’t ashamed of it. I felt like the curse words just finished a sentence so perfectly and meant not to mess with me. I remember sitting in the cafeteria of my college, just cursing up a storm, laughing and a lady from my church went there and turned around and said “Who doing all that cussing”? I said with such pride “ME! Oh yea girl I cuss like a sailor, I don’t give a….” You finish the sentence but I’m typing this right now feeling sooooo embarrassed BUT GOD! I’ve been working to curve it and a lady at my church told me it’s work and to pray about it. You NEVER understand the impact of your behaviors and words until God completely wrecks you and puts you in the situation to hear someone else speaking the way YOU once did. Now, it just stings my eardrums and I see how ignorant I sounded and what horrible example I was setting for my own daughter and it checks me. 

The last thing I’ll discuss is working on areas in myself that could be harmful to my future husband. I’m the first to tell you I’m believing God for a God-lead, God-fearing, totally submitted to God husband! In the past I didn’t think I could do ANY wrong because I was “so good” to my boyfriends. I had been jaded so I went into relationships with trust issues, thinking I was perfect and even belittled one of my exes. I thought foolishly if you were “good in bed” (shouldn’t of been engaging in premarital sex), could throw down in the kitchen (doing a married woman’s duty), treated them well and would be there through thick and thin, I was IT! Like the total package, can’t nobody touch this, no competition. Now I missed the fact that COMMUNICATION was big, with no trust there is no relationship, belittling a man will only drive him away and “good sex” won’t make him stay. Now in doing my work and reading my word I understand that a marriage is sacred to God, it’s going to be constant compromise, sex is for marriage (been celibate for 2 1/2 years), a SOLID relationship with Christ is going to hold us together when we feel like falling apart and God has to be our foundation. I understand communication is going to be key because if we hold in our struggles, we’ll resent each other, become disconnected and infidelity may occur. I also understand to create a place of peace in our home, no man wants to walk into hell after a long day of work! Even guard our threshold, not to let any and everybody trail through our house because I don’t know what spirits may come in with them. I won’t write all the things God has given me in this area but these are the most important.

Had I not taken time to seek God to become better I wouldn’t of gotten to this very place. Pride is a VERY dangerous and nasty thing to operate out of. God said in his word that it’ll destroy us so we can’t afford to stay in such a nasty area. If you are struggling with pride I encourage you to just fall on your knees and pray. Cry out to God, repent, ask him to change your heart and just touch you in a special way. He’s waiting on you to get in his presence and ask for help! Don’t leave him there waiting, run to him and get that comfort and healing only he can give. He wants you to be better, he wants you to grow stronger in your walk and he loves you. He knows you’ll fall short, yet he loves you unconditionally anyway. Nurture that relationship with him, dedicate your entire being to him and watch how he changes you. You won’t even recognize yourself once he starts shaping and molding you into his beautiful image. 

Many of us are in a season of singleness and the question you find yourself asking is “God When will I find love”? I want to submit to some of you that you may be single because you aren’t ready. You may think I go to church, I go to bible study, I sing in the choir, I pray, I study my bible so I’M READY! NO, God loves that you do all those things but are you doing those things for a mate or because of your Christian duty? Are you sold out to Christ and know you can’t make him without him and studying to show yourself approved? God doesn’t want you to come to him, do his work and pray JUST for a husband/wife, he wants you to be genuine! He wants you to know he is there for you, he wants you to give thanks, he wants you to know he’s the ONLY one who you should call out for in times of trouble. Your friends and family can only do so much, you have to be submitted to him!

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Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, finding love is going to require patience. Just because you feel you’re doing everything right and are indulged in a ministry doesn’t mean you are going to be found by a husband or find a wife. You still are going to have to wait on God to bring that portion into your life.

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Something to consider is CELIBACY: When you are hoping to be married one day you need to keep your cookies in a jar with a lid on it TIGHT! Sex outside of marriage is not only spoken against MANY times in the bible but it also clouds your judgement. Your body is a temple so when you are sharing it with everyone you not only are devaluing yourself but you are also going against GOD. I know some of you are thinking “Well who is going to buy the car without test driving it”? Who’s going to wait until after they’ve committed to find out what “it’s” like?” That question is simple A MAN/WOMAN OF GOD who is sold out to Christ AND interested in much more than just your body, THAT’S WHO! The saying is so true, boys play house but real men build homes so if he isn’t willing to wait send him down the road to the girl that doesn’t value herself and doesn’t honor God.

Next thing and this is BIG: DO NOT GO MAKING SOMEONE YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE!!!!!!!! This is happening so often and that’s why the divorce rate is so high. If you have not consulted God and God has not told you this woman is your wife/husband then don’t go throwing rings around or accepting them. BE WISE in your choices, don’t ignore the fact that he is unemployed because his job is to provide as a man. If he’s unemployed and pursuing you then you need to shoot him down because a man who is going to take on a wife should be ready in ALL aspects to care for one. FORGET THE 2013 I’M GOING TO HOLD HIM DOWN thing. A man needs to be established before he comes into your life so it’s okay to dismiss him if he doesn’t have his things in order.  Fellas: DON’T IGNORE HER CLUBBING HABITS AND HER NEED TO SHOP EXCESSIVELY! A wife is not supposed to be up in the club grinding on another man, drunk and not representing your last names and family well. Also you don’t work so she can shop! I’m sorry ladies I’m going to tell it like it T-I-IS. You have to plan for your future and you have to remember no one wants to point you out in the club to their friend. Yes you can go out to dinner with the girls even grab a drink but be respectful in doing so. Yes, you can shop but you don’t need to run up credit card bills trying to look nice when your home life is a mess. 

These are just personal things I live by and I’m also single so you can take it or leave it. I’m learning just to be patient, I’m learning to pray about my future husband and even more importantly pray FOR him. Just because I don’t know who he is doesn’t mean I can’t pray for him. I’ve come so far on my journey of singleness that I’m even shocked myself. A couple of years ago I didn’t even think I was worthy of love, I didn’t even think I’d be capable of loving someone BUT GOD! He showed me my past and my mistakes didn’t count me out for being loved. He showed me that HE loves me more than any man will ever love me and that I had work to do. I found self- esteem and self love through his word and my life has been on a beautiful trip ever since. I ask you tonight to reevaluate where your heart is, confess your sins to him, be made whole and know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made in his image.