Archives for posts with tag: Relationships

Have you ever felt like you’d found “the one” or been found by “the one”? Everything is going great (or not), you are vibing, in love, the happiest you’ve ever been right? So what do you do when all of that comes crashing down and you find yourself suddenly single? That is the question I have been asking myself for the past week.

A week ago, my just a month shy of 3 years relationship ended suddenly. I AM devastated to say the least. I went through the toughest day the day after. I cried, cried and did I mention cried all day! I was tempted to stay in bed all weekend and sulk but something was different in me.

 I decided I was NOT going to allow this break-up to take me down. I jumped out of bed, attended to my personal hygiene and got on the road to my mom’s house. I played gospel music the entire way there and sang along. My heart and spirit felt so good on that hour and 15 minute ride.

I had to get up and keep moving because I know who I am. I had to smile and appreciate the beauty in my situation because I am confident in the caliber of woman I am. If he didn’t see that he was blessed with the best, his lost not mine. So, I know you may be tempted to sulk and cry but I’m going to give you some tips to help you through this.

First thing: It is OK to be sad and you should sit in each emotion. Feel it, journal it, sing it, meditate on it and remember to breathe through it.

Second thing: Remember your goals and start working towards them. Create a vision board, go try a new class, listen to a new artist. This will help you begin to enjoy what is now your “new normal”.

Third thing: Remove any photographs, letters, text or anything from the person IF you are ready. I know none of that is easy, but it is going to be neccessary to remove the reminders so you can focus on healing. Yes, delete them from your social media and delete their contact.

Fourth thing: I highly suggest listening to some motivational speakers on YouTube or via podcast. I have been BINGE WATCHING Derrick Jaxn and Trent Shelton videos. To hear someone remind you how valuable you are, what not to settle for, that you can do what you set your mind to is so refreshing. The moment I found their videos and paired it with my determination to get through this, I began to feel much better.

Fifth thing: Write down what you want in your next relationship. Reflect on what you’ve learned through the last relationship. Detail your deal breakers and actually stick by them if you didn’t before.

I am still figuring out what all works for me. The tips above have been pulling me through. I must admit I haven’t felt this determined and focused in over a year. I know one day the right man will come along and we can build together. I also still believe in marriage and desire it deeply.

I’m in no rush, I am just focusing on being a better mom, finishing my degree, this state move I’m in the process of. I have many things to occupy my mind and time but I also still honor my times of sadness. If I need to cry it out, I will stop and do that. There’s no easy way to healing, you just have to go through it and you WILL be OK in time.

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The definition of empty is containing nothing, not filled or occupied. So what happens when we as people start to feel empty? Wearing a smile but on the inside of us feeling like we are broken, nothing to offer and plain ol empty. For some people you may have grown accustom to putting on this front so it doesn’t seem strange, sound familiar? We’ll I come to tell you, it is time to fill your glass through the word of GOD.

For the past few weeks my sister and I have been battling people over our children. With my daughter, it has been body image and she is only 5!!!! I didn’t know this issue was possible at such a young age but I’m not shocked because I too battled it. I came to find out my daughter is feeling self conscious because a little boy in her class  has been making comments about her. Now I’ll be honest, I told her to knock his head off( pray for me) but I had to retract the statement.  I immediately started to reaffirm her, telling her God does not make mistakes and she is fearfully and wonderfully made (psalms 139:14). I ended up telling her not to even play with him anymore because he is not being nice to her.  As a woman I understand we have to deal with men our entire lives, what we go through young does carry into adulthood. If you have a little boy downing you at 5, that sets a tone and you have a duty to protect yourself and be protected.

For my sister the issue is quite different because it’s adults being inappropriate with her daughter. I’m talking about people who should KNOW better, like too old to be antagonizing a child. My niece was born premature so she can’t sit down for long periods of time, talks more than some children and might act up a bit. We know these things but some adults aren’t smarter than 5th graders and just write children off as bad because they do not fit their mold. From the school to some other places it’s been a battle, people pushing her to the side, kicking her out of places (YES A 5 YEAR OLD) all because they haven’t taken the time to understand her. This made me VERY upset and even brought my sister to tears because of the treatment and stress. I was so upset because God has said children are a gift to us and we are to treat them well (psalms 127: 3-5) . When adults forget this, they are able to do things that they know are not right and God will punish them for it. 

In these situations we have felt empty, tired of repeating ourselves and having to tell grown ups how to handle children. You’d think it was pretty simple but it is not and can cause you to feel helpless. The thing that encourages me is that, God is fighting this battle with us and he knows our heart. He knows we honestly want the best for our children and he knows that we are going to follow his guidance on the situation. A verse that encourages me is Matthew 11:28 going down to 30 and it simply says ” Come unto me, all that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Somebody ought to feel encouraged right there because he just told you, you aren’t carrying this alone. Give it to me and I will work it out for you, where you can only do so much I can do all things so let me handle this. This is a situation where all you can do is trust him to turn it around and watch him work his blessings over you and your situation. That empty feeling you went to sleep on should’ve been given to him in your night time prayer to him. I have a habit of flopping down face first on my bed and calling on the name of Jesus. I just get to that point where the only thing I can say is Jesus, help me, I am DONE and I can’t handle this. He sweeps right in and reassures me that he has this and to release my cares on to him and he will refill my once empty feeling cup. When you are feeling empty in your flesh, take time to feed your spirit because he has a blessing for you. You aren’t going through this trial in vain, he is strengthening you and building your faith muscle. When you have less just remember there is an On on the end, this LESSon is just preparing you for greater ahead and you need to know that! Rest in his word, believe in his promises and watch the outcome of your situation. Let’s pray!

 

Dear Gracious Father,

I thank you for waking me this morning, thank you for giving me a testimony, thank you for working things out for me that I can’t even see. As I come to you today I ask that you would touch the hearts of people who are mistreating my children. I ask that you create a plan for these people to learn to show you instead of their flesh. I don’t know what things they are going through behind the scenes but I ask that you touch their hearts, minds, souls and lives so they can be better in you. I ask that you continue to fight for and with myself and my children as I try to teach them your ways. Lord I know you are mighty and that you can turn any bad situation into a beautiful situation and I believe you for that in my situation.  Thank you Lord for loving me, protecting me, strengthening me and guiding me in life, in your name I pray,

amen

So I’m excited to share with you guys what George shared with me about being a man of God. If you follow him on Twitter or Instagram, you are well aware of the fact that HE GOES IN for God! I stumbled upon him in the celibacy hash-tag and the wisdom from this young man of God blew my mind. I just want to give a special thank you for being the first guy to feature on my blog and sharing your heart. You are an AMAZING example of a young man on fire for God and I appreciate you!

1. Tell me about yourself.

1. I’m a 26 year old young man. My life has been a sensual journey that abruptly and undoubtedly lead me right back to Christ. I am passionate about truth that provokes thoughts that induce curiosity that yields freedom. I am passionate about prosperity. I love achievement and I earnestly believe we all have a giant within us that needs to be awaken. I am the evolution of influence and affluence. Without God I am nothing. He has given me my identity and my purpose. Through my struggle I am able to usher in thought for others; I am here to uplift the name of Christ. He says that if I do this he’ll draw all men unto himself. It’s my faith that propels me forward. Impossibility is the only thing that intrigues me. With faith, impossible things are transmuted into abundant substance. My ultimate goal in life is to see the unveiling of the glory of God through the life of a sinner saved by grace who has subverted my own will for the perfect will of God.

2.Do you practice and promote celibacy? Why?

Yes, I practice as well as promote celibacy. I also refrain from masturbation. I will do so until I am married. The reason I made this choice is because I decided to commit to God. Commitment was a foreign concept to me when I initially began my walk with Christ so there were times that I fell, but I adamantly wanted to get it right. Just committing wasn’t enough for me though; I always need for things to challenge me logically, so God gave me this:

God- Do you love Me?

Me- Yes!

God- Do you love your mother?

Me- Of course!

God- Am I Omnipresent?

Me- Yes!

God- Is your mother omnipresent?

Me- No

God- Do you love your mother more than you love me?

Me- Certainly not!

God- Well why is that you have never had sex or maturbated in the presence of your mother, but you continually do it in my presence?

Me- ……….

This revolutionized my life! The commandment is to have no other gods before Him. What I had mistakenly done was placed my mother before God. A mistake that I would correct once and for all. To love God is to obey Him. There is no love devoid obedience.

3. What does being a man of God mean to you?

Deciding to be a man of God is the greatest decision I have ever made. To me it’s the essence of manhood. With out God, without a beginning there is no reference point. Without a reference man ultimately becomes the measure of all things. We become gods in our on right. If this is the case mankind is susquently, if not immediately reduced to pure relativism. Without God we have no definition of ourselves. He is where it begins. Once a man accepts Christ as his personal savior, then and only then does have truly have the capacity to become a man.

4. Do you believe celibacy is something that all brothers should practice?

Celibacy is certainly something brothers should practice. We establish order. If the man is out of order the home is out of order and disorder is not exclusive to the home. It is viral. Perversion is the plan of the enemy. If men don’t have an intimate relationship with God there is no true divinity within the family or community.

5.What advice would you give to young men who believe they are too flawed to come to Christ?

I would tell them they are exactly where Christ needs them to be to use them mightily! I thought the same thing, but it is the furthest thing from truth. Christ say that “if we would believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that we would be saved.”

6.What event in your life brought you to Christ?

It was a seemingly random event that brought me to Christ. I was walking through the cafe one day at school NC A&T; my friend stopped me and asked me “Hey G, who are you living for today? God or the devil?” Of course my answer was God, but it was a lie to save face. It was like I had an encounter with the Son of man himself. That moment changed my entire perspective on things and since that day I ask myself that question on a daily basis. It still holds as much weight now as it did then.

7.What words of wisdom do you want to share with brothers in Christ regarding Celibacy & growing closer to God?

The advice I would give would be to take a look at your heart and at your true motives. Do you “love” these women for your sake or for theirs? Think of the way you would like a man to love your daughters. Think of the respect that you would like for him to honor her with. Would you be fair in demanding that respect from any man if you are not man enough to embody those exact statutes? Figure out what it is you want for your life. Start to plan for your death. Think of it as a blueprint for a house. We are God derivatives. We were not put here to be average, therefore we cannot employ average thoughts or deeds. We are called to lead. To be righteous in his sight. We are the healers of society. If we don’t know love, and God is love, then we know anything. If we know nothing our sons will know nothing, if our sons know nothing our daughters have no identity. Ergo a nameless generation. Slaves.

Instagram: @GeorgeHinesJr

Twitter: @georgehinesjr

YouTube: thegentlemanssuite

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When you are single the statement “You attract who you are” can be very damaging to your soul. As a woman of God, you read the words God says about you and it seems to conflict with what the world is saying. What voice should you listen to? Why is this stigma placed on single women, waiting to be someone’s good thing? Is this statement really true? How can you respond to people who throw this at you? Lets explore the topic and hopefully by the end of this blog you are empowered, feeling full of knowledge and ready to take on anyone who says this to you.

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First let me explain to you that singleness is NOT a disease, a curse or a cruel punishment from God. Singleness is beauty and you get to learn yourself on such a level. You are given the chance to follow God, uninterrupted and figure out your calling and purpose as it relates to pleasing Christ. I myself am doing A LOT of self work, changed my horrible attitude, connected with God, got into my word really deep, chose a life of celibacy and got on this pursuit of bringing glory to God. This blog and my soon coming ministry #BareFacesPureHearts are apart of my journey to finding myself and doing God’s business. As a single Christian woman I’ve found people tell you to constantly change to be found by a man. It’s always something we could do better or more of in the eyes of the world; whether it be changing our dress attire or changing who we are. None of those things are going to speed up God’s timing for when you find your husband so don’t be fooled.

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I’ve been single for a couple of years now and all I see is “You attract who you are” and it’s simply not true. I get approached by drunken and old men and that is NO reflection of me. I’m 25 so there goes the you’re older so that’s why the old men want you and I do not drink so there goes that theory too. God has a plan for your love life so if you attract broke, old, drunk, thuggy, living off their potential, gold digging, unattractive men, this has NOTHING to do with you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made and God wouldn’t send you someone who will subtract from your life. Don’t spend your time trying to make yourself up or change who you are to be found by a man. The man for you is going to love you from the moment he sees you, accept you flaws and all and love all the woman of God that you are.

What voice should you listen to? You should read your bible and see what God says about you. The world has a different standard of what beauty is. To the world beauty means; heels, long straight hair, thin framed, face full of make-up, money falling out your wallet because it’s so full and name brand clothing. None of those things are beautiful, all those things are cover ups to hide a deeper rooted issue that they are battling on the inside. To God beauty is on the inside of you, God searches your inner so that’s where your focus should be. You are most beautiful when your life pours out Christ from every fiber of your being and you are bringing people to Christ. Listen to God’s voice and follow his direction!

Why is this stigma placed on single women waiting to be someone’s good thing? Single women get this stigma placed on us because some are desperate. Some women can’t stand to be single so they settle for less than they’re worth and will change themselves to get a man. Single women also get this stigma placed on them because they let too many worldly people speak into their lives. You MUST be careful who you let mentor you or speak into your life! Everyone isn’t for you and sometimes they don’t even have the rules together themselves.

Is this statement really true? Absolutely NOT! This is one of the most ignorant misguided statements to ever be created! If you know you are aligning your life with Christ, you are fine. If you know you are living a life dedicated to Christ, he will definitely send you the man you deserve. Though the single season can last a long period of time, don’t EVER settle. Wait on God to bring this man into your life! No matter how long you are single, remember God has someone set aside for you and you will come together when HE sees fit!

How can you respond to someone who throws this at you? You let them know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and no matter who comes your way, that won’t change. Remind them that you know you are someone’s good thing and you aren’t going to be shaken by the statement. Let them know they should pick up their bible and find out what God says about them and tell them don’t speak that death over you. 

One thing you can rest assured in is God has the final say over your life, NOT man. If God says you’ll be single then that’s what it is, you aren’t going to change his mind. I know it’s easy to get discouraged and feel like you might be in this season forever BUT you won’t. You attract who wants to come over and try you but that doesn’t mean you have to entertain them. When someone doesn’t line up with your standards show them the exit. Don’t be afraid to tell people no thank you or you aren’t fitting the mold for a man of God. Sure they may get offended but you have a right to turn them down and not feel bad about it. Let’s pray!

Dear Lord,

I come to you today thanking you for all you’ve done for me, thank you for loving me and protecting me. I ask you forgive me for any sins that I may have committed today and restore me. As your daughter I ask that in your timing you send my mate and let us bring glory to your name. I thank you for showing me the way you feel about me and what I should require in a man who wants to be apart of my life. My heart belongs to you and I have faith that you’ll bring me a man who has asked you for me first. Thank you Lord for showing me my worth! In your name I pray,

Amen

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John 15:13 is such a powerful verse in regards to friendship. In 2014 I’ve been wondering what happened to real friendships, like where are the people who would lay down their lives for their friends? It’s amazing how with age you notice that people you could call friends 15 years ago don’t hold that title anymore. For example, I pride myself on being an amazing friend, you can call me at 3 in the morning stranded and I’m getting out of my bed to come get you. Last year I had a year of redemption and forgiveness but some things have become future behavior from those same people. I won’t say names because it’s unimportant but I will give situations and hopefully solutions

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I recently had a birthday party for my 5 year old, I had several people back out and some had valid reasons. For the couple who didn’t call, didn’t show or had an excuse I’ve chosen not to speak to them. When you are a TRUE friend, you will turn over stones in the middle of the road to get to your friend’s birthday party. There will be no last minute attempt to honor your commitment to your friend, you’ll be there ON TIME, with a gift and helping in any way you can. Friendship has gotten so far from those principals that you get people’s latter, not there best. WORD TO THE WISE: YOU have to set a standard for people to rise up to, just like relationships , if you don’t set requirements in stone people aren’t going to honor you. I know about 10 years ago you didn’t have to have sit downs with people because they took pride in being friends but it’s apparently a new day. 

SOLUTION: Pray God gives you the words to say when your friends aren’t holding up their end. Also have a standard set in stone for what friendship with you looks like. If people can’t meet that requirement, there is absolutely nothing wrong with discontinuing that friendship. If you are the one they can call on but they can’t be called on that’s not your friend, they are using you.

Another example I can use is also related to my 5 year old. She had a situation where someone made her feel less than loved, kind of brushed her off. She wanted to go with the person and it was always an excuse as to why they couldn’t fulfill their obligation to her. She then came to me and said “So and so doesn’t want me, she doesn’t want me” and began to cry. One thing about me is I DO NOT play when it comes to my child! If you look up mama bear in the dictionary I’m sure my picture is next to the definition because I protect her to all faults. You can’t make my child feel any type of way & I not deal with you accordingly and possibly in a less than nice tone. Her schooling has been affected and I also DO NOT play with academics, especially if it’s due to someone stressing her out. She knows I have her back and if ANYONE attempts to come against her the claws and roar will come out.

SOLUTION: Again consult God first on what to say to the person and how to say it. Also swallow your fears about the outcome because no matter what the situation has to be addressed. Children are innocent and depend on their parents to protect them, make sure they are safe and feel loved. If someone takes on a position and doesn’t honor that role, it’s OK to remove them from the job. Ford fires and hires everyday and you have the right to do so too!

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LOOKING FORWARD: I am very proud to say even though I’ve had some bad experiences I do have people who abide by Luke 6:31.I don’t want to put them on blast BUT their names are Theary and Nakisha. When I say friend, I mean FRIEND! If I need anything I can pick up the phone and call them and they’d be right there. If I’m on my death bed and have hours to live, they will hold my hand and talk to me until my eyes close and God takes me into heaven. They have honored me for over 15 years and been a constant blessing in my daughter’s life since she was born. We’ve had our downs but our UP’S have been a straight flight, needless to say we haven’t had to discuss standards because they’ve stood by me since the day we met

When you find yourself in those uncomfortable situations, I’d ask you to go to God for the words to say. A TRUE friend is priceless and God will continue to send you people who will honor you. Pray to him for more God lead friendships and less Godless acquaintances. Some people just want to come around you to make sure you aren’t doing better than them. Some people just want to see in your life and go run and tell your hardships to people. Don’t be afraid to close the blinds to those people, they mean you NO good and will bring stress to your life. You can love them from a distance, pray for them every night but not let them gain access to take from you or make you feel a certain way. Let’s Pray!

Almighty God,

I thank you for giving me a chance to see a new day, I thank you for forgiving me for my sins and loving me in spite of myself. I come to you tonight with a heavy heart. I am lost for words to say to someone I’ve considered a friend and I need your guidance. In your word you’ve shown me what friendship looks like and I’m not being treated according to the word. I ask that if they are for me, you give me the words to say and if they are not for me you remove them from my life. I want friendships that reflect your love and that push me to be better in you and pray you send me those people. I want to further your kingdom, bring glory to your name and be friends with people who wish the same. I want to live in a way that’ll bring people to know you and not a way that sends people astray so I ask you continue to humble me. Thank you for hearing my heart and my prayer father God,

Amen

 

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As a woman whose been in relationships that weren’t the best for me, I realize how you can get swept up in lust covered as love. It’s very easy to get caught up in the feeling vs. the reality of your relationship. You make excuses for why he/she is the one and how they make your heart smile and so on. He looks like everything you dreamed of as a child, she looks like everything you wanted in a woman as a young boy. What happens when it turns out to be just a facade? What happens when you are gut punched with the reality of he/she not being who lust told you they were on your journey seeking love? I’ll tell you what happens, you end in the fetal position on your bed asking God why.

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Growing up, if you are lucky your parents sat you down and told you what to expect from a relationship. You were raised deep in the word of God and the dangers of premarital sex were explained to you. If you are like most people I know, that didn’t happen so you were left fending for yourself to figure out what love was. I’m 25 and the first time lust was explained to me was in a blog and that was AFTER i became a single mom. I don’t mean the cute version of single mom, I mean the child is with you 24 AND the 7, no social life and no resources kind of single motherhood. The word SOUL TIE was introduced to me last year when I started to diligently seek Christ. I’m writing this blog because even though I got it late, I want to share it with you early, here today, right now.

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What you should know is when you are seeking love God has already given it to you. There is nothing you can do to change the way he feels about you. He knows you are going to mess up and that’s why he sent his son to die for you. What you seek in man or woman, he’s already giving you so be fulfilled in that. Nothing about love equals lust, either it is or it isn’t and that’s how you should view people. I used to be one of those girls who fell in love with potential. Oh it wasn’t anything you could tell me about it either, I’d defend the unemployment, I’d defend the other girls and I’d dare you to challenge me. Granted I’d never picked up a bible to see what God said love was. I don’t want you to be the one who doesn’t pick up a bible so you travel the world seeking something that isn’t real.

The day I woke up from forever was when I’d found myself in a toxic relationship. I thought because I waited 6 months to have sex that I was doing something. I tied my soul up and BAD, for those of you who don’t know a soul tie is when you have sex with someone who has not put some papers and a ring on it! If he didn’t approach you, court you, consult God on your relationship/ courtship, wait for confirmation from God, get a yes from God, propose to you, go to the court house file for a marriage license, stand before you and your family and friends and marry you then get intimate, you’ve tied souls. Premarital sex creates a soul tie because you are sharing your body with someone other than your husband/wife.

I know some people don’t believe it takes all that and those are the people I tell “READ YOUR BIBLE!” I got all caught up with a toxic person even became a mother from that toxic relationship and it brought me to right here today. Now I understand had I not went through that, I wouldn’t have a relationship with Christ. Sure, I identified with Christianity but I never knew it actually came along with task until I gave my life fully to him. I now know if a man wants to have sex, kiss all on me and get in my personal space he isn’t for me! I desire a man of God, not just one who sits in a church on Sunday and Wednesday nights right beside a Pastor because it looks good. I won’t settle for a man other than one who is so lost in God that he bleeds the word because I am lost in my word that way.

I desire a man who is God lead now, not flesh lead because that’ll breed fleshly desires and I’ve been there before. I now know what God says about me, what he requires of me and what it means to have a relationship with him. Just because you are in a relationship that doesn’t bring God glory doesn’t mean you have to stay in it. You can get out of that at anytime, you can stop answering those late night phone calls for him/her tonight. Pick up your bible and read what LOVE truly is and how that’s what you should require and give. Don’t let what you want him/her to be cloud your judgement and cause you to miss out on the one God has for you. You are SOOOOOOOOOO worth the best! You are SOOOO worth being loved and cared for and not just for someone’s temporary pleasures! Don’t leave this earth stuck in the mentality that you should be OK with a flesh lead relationship. You are priceless, God fights for you, he gave his son FOR YOU! I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t give up my only son for a bunch of sinners but God did because he thinks that much of YOU! Just love yourself, just thank God for that thought alone, just start off with you desire for better and progression. Let’s Pray!

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you for your son, I thank you for this day to do better, I thank you for your love and your mercy. As I sit before you I ask you create in me a clean heart. I ask that you show me how to love myself the way you love me! I need you Lord and you’ve been so merciful and awesome while I’ve been stuck in my mess. I vow to do better and choose to serve you and bring glory and honor to your name. I know I deserve the best and I trust you will bring the best to me as I travel this journey called life. As I fall on my knees begging for your forgiveness for the sins I’ve committed I trust and believe you are working things out for my good. As times get tough I will turn to you and seek your guidance because I know you’ve got me. Thank you Lord for the awakening I’ve been given today and may I be a vessel for you forever.

In your precious name it is I pray,’

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sometimes we see signs that just confuse us right? We double check our GPS system on our phone to make sure we are in the right area and it still doesn’t look clear. We then have to pull over and reassess, ask people for direction and hope they have an answer right? But what happens when our lives become the GPS system?WE are running around trying to find out where we are, WE are searching for the solution but it’s still not clear, WE are forced to pull over and reassess and ask for direction. WE haven’t even stopped to pray, we haven’t even asked God for his direction and we’ve tried to be a god and do it by ourselves. Let me explain why God’s direction is the ONLY GPS system you need to follow, man will fail you but GOD won’t do it.
This past month proved to be trying for me and I was sinking. I’d gotten out for break from school and my daughter had too so I was happy to be able to relax. The break ended Monday but not before my computer charger shorted out and I didn’t have a way to submit my work. I panicked and started to cry and try with no luck to fix it. I pulled out both of my old chargers and tried to rig them up and it was not working, with my very important assignment nearing. It left me feeling like God was trying to tell me something that I couldn’t hear. I asked God ” What are you trying to tell me?” Do i need to pull back the reigns and not do my ministry? Are you telling me this schooling isn’t for me? What is it?
I’d ordered a new charger on the 3rd so they gave me the 8th or the 9th that it’d be delivered. I went to bed Tuesday night and just poured my heart out to God. I told him how I really wanted to pass this class and how devastating it’d be if I wasn’t able to submit my assignment but I knew he’d work it out. Wednesday came and that’s the day my assignment was due, took it as God was trying to tell me it was time to say goodbye to school and slow down on launching my ministry. It was about 4 O’clock and I was sitting on my couch and UPS pulled up. I was waiting on another package for my sisters birthday so I thought hey, it’s her birthday so it got here on time….it hadn’t BUT my charger HAD. I swung that door open, smiled real bright and snatched the package from his hand & screamed!
I ran to my computer, plugged it in and low and behold that once black light had turned white, indicating it was CHARGING! I continuously said “Thank you Jesus”, over and over again, did that assignment and pressed submit. I was on cloud 9 and not only because the charger had arrived but because GOD heard my heart and answered my prayer. If you open up your bible to Hebrews 11:6 it says But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. This is where you have to faith it til you make it! I had thrown in the towel, I’d taken it as a sign that my ministry and schooling were over but I hadn’t consulted God first. I went trying to fix things on my own and it proved to be out of my control.
When you are lost go to the master, you can try to rig your situation on your back up’s (people) but ONLY GOD can swoop in and save you. He has the mighty hand that’ll make it alright, he has the plan, he has the solution. Temporary fixes won’t work, he’s watching you run around like you have no answer and HE is the answer. Call out to him, tell him I know you are going to work this out, I understand I don’t have the answers but I serve you, aMIGHTY God who will bring all these things together. I put it in your hands and I leave it there where I know it’s safe and taken care of.
If you are in a time where your vision seems to be blurry, you have searched all over and it’s still not clear then I ask you to go to God. Pray, Pray, oh and did I say Pray? LISTEN to him, he does answer, just because it’s not something you WANT to hear doesn’t mean he didn’t answer it. It’s probably not going to come the way or time you want it but it’s coming! Make sure it’ll bring glory to God, if it’s for self gratification then he isn’t going to honor that. Be God lead, not flesh lead and trust God’s direction.
-Deema
Founder BareFacesPureHearts- Connect with me on Twitter @WOGMovement25

Image (photo credit: stuffthatsrelevant.wordpress.com)

So it’s the holiday season and you’re starting to see all your married friends family pictures, your friends with their boyfriends and people arranging trips to go home for the holidays. You’re sitting home single and just can’t believe it’s been 5 months, 1 year, 2 years and so forth of you being single. I know you can grow restless in your waiting on God for a mate so I’m here to reassure you that singleness is NOT a disease and get you through your lonely nights.

1. Realize that you are single for a reason: Whether you are recently out of a relationship because of “growing apart”, infidelity, or you realized he/ she wasn’t the one, this is a time to regroup. Coming out of a relationship is very hard, especially if you’ve created a soul tie (will be discussed in a future blog) to someone. You need to realize you left that situation for a reason so don’t fret about being single.

2. DO NOT STALK YOUR EXES SOCIAL MEDIA: If I had $1 for every time someone ran my exes information back to me, I’d be rich! Do not go looking at an old flames Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or e.t.c trying to see what or who they have going on. Realize it’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what they are up to!!! It’s only going to cause you to become sad, depressed and make hell for you to survive the Christmas holiday. Think about it, you’re going to be playing your sad cd with a bottle of Patron looking really ridiculous!

3. Make sure you go spend time with your family: I don’t know about you but cooking on Christmas and enjoying some nice gospel music with my family brings me such joy. You get to be surrounded by family you may have not seen in awhile, eat great food and act silly and not be judged for it!

4. You get to enjoy a quiet house: Oh how I miss those years before becoming a mother! Don’t get me wrong, my daughter is an amazing gift, couldn’t imagine life without her but I MISS SLEEP! When you’re single you control you’re schedule, after work you can just enjoy a nice bubble bath, a glass of wine or even stay up late on Friday nights.

5. You have uninterrupted time with God: When you have a boyfriend or become married you may lose focus on studying your word, going to bible study and your prayer life may even suffer. Sometimes you pray and believe God for your mate and once you get them, it becomes GOOD LOOKING OUT JESUS,BYE! Don’t look at the screen like that, IT DOES HAPPEN! Being single you have time to get lost in your bible, serve in a ministry and fulfill your dreams. The season of singleness is the PERFECT time to figure yourself out, not sit around twiddling your thumbs.

6. Realize this is just a season: You won’t always be single so enjoy the motions of this season. I know when you’ve been single for a substantial amount of time you start thinking you’re going to die single. It’s NOT true, God just hasn’t said it’s your time so if you are submitting to him and following his word, he’ll send him/her. You have standards that you aren’t willing to compromise right? So just have FAITH and PATIENCE in what God is doing!  Let’s Pray!

Dear Lord,

I thank you for waking me this morning, I thank you for keeping me safe, I thank you for being an awesome provider and for loving me in spite of all my flaws. I ask for your forgiveness for any sins I’ve committed today and ask you to create in me a clean heart. I ask that you bring me peace in my season of singleness. I ask that you wrap your arms around me in my times of loneliness and guide me on your path. I understand this is just a temporary situation and trust you to bring a man/ woman into my life in your timing. Forgive me for being impatient and wanting to go before your plans. Your ways breed the best results so I’ll stand still and trust in you to bring my heart’s desires to pass. I love you Lord and you are so amazing, you’re awesome and so worthy to be praised. In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

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I wanted to switch it up so I reached out to Wives In Waiting for a feature on ministry.  Mrs.Truscott and her camp were willing to share her ministry with the world and it’s amazing. For ladies like myself you’re going to be inspired and encouraged to go beyond your comfort zone and step into what God has for you! ENJOY!

Ministry Feature

www.newlyfoundfaith.wordpress.com

  1. Tell me about yourself?

Born in California but raised in Texas. I’ve been married for 6 ½ to the man of my dreams and we have 1 daughter but believing God for more. God has called me to be a Titus 2 woman: pouring into other women the wisdom He has given me.

  1. What brought you to starting your ministry?

When I was single and in the beginning of my marriage I struggled with truly giving my life to God. I wanted to control everything but I didn’t realize that my life was out of control. When I really submitted to God He revealed the areas where I needed to surrender to Him

  1. What does your ministry teach women?

It guides women in honoring their commitment to God first, whether they are single or married. I focus on submitting to God with your whole heart and in every area in their life so they can have successful relationships with their friends, family, and current/future husbands. I teach semi-monthly webinars that focus on emotional, physical, mental, and emotional wholeness.

  1. Do you promote celibacy?

I do. Soul ties are real and cause more damage to our souls than they do to our bodies. Being spiritually attached to someone other than your spouse makes it difficult to connect with the one God chose for you.

  1. What’s one piece of advice you give to a wife in waiting who’s growing impatient?

Waiting on God is not about doing nothing but preparing for what you’re waiting on God. While they’re waiting on God, He may be waiting on them to fulfill their assignment.

  1. How has starting your own ministry changed your life?

It has shown me that I am a work-in-progress just like the members of Wives in Waiting. I have areas I need to work on as a wife to God and to my husband. Just because I’m not waiting on a husband doesn’t mean I’m not waiting for God to do anything else I need Wives in Waiting just as much as any other woman.

  1. What advice would you give to a woman who’s interested in starting a ministry but doesn’t know how to start?

Seek God’s direction and be humble enough to have wise counsel. Make sure you’re a good follower, can help someone else with their vision before you start one of your own.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/WivesInWaiting

Twitter: @mrsctruscott

Instagram: @mrsctruscott

Ministry: http://www.wivesinwaiting.com

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Celibacy Feature

www.newlyfoundfaith.wordpress.com

Tell me about yourself 

 I am a novelist, public servant and speaker. Oftentimes, I am summoned to speak with youth and young adults, as it pertains to healing, celibacy and education. My recent publication, What Are You Bringing to the Table, has garnered the attention of individuals nationwide as I endeavored to encourage women to take OFF their safari jackets. The focus needs to be on Becoming “The One,” as opposed to Finding“The One.” After all, relationships start in the Mirror, not in the Sheets…

 

What brought you to the celibacy lifestyle? 

Through the grace of God, I have been able to maintain my virginity for 32 years.

 

How has being celibate changed your life?

It has enabled me to think more clearly due to the fact that once you get involved with someone sexually it can certainly cloud your judgment. I am more inclined to discern the hearts of those with false intentions and motivate women to join me in the process to work on as many of our unresolved issues as possible.

 

Do you believe celibacy is something that all women should practice?

Absolutely! Every single woman should practice celibacy. There are entirely too many diseases to engage in casual sex. Your body should be a gift to your husband, not a convenience for your friend.  Engaging in premarital sex during monogamous relationships is still considered fornication. If at all possible, children deserve the opportunity to grow up in solid, two parent household structures (ordained by God of course.

 

What advice would you give to women struggling with deciding to become celibate?

Get to the root of the issue! Are you engaging in pre-marital sex because you fear losing the guy to someone else? Is your body all you have to offer? Are you continuing to have sex because you have already lost your virginity so you think your body is no longer valuable? Waiting until marriage to have sex does NOT guarantee happily ever after, but neither does premarital sex. We live in a sex-crazed society; therefore, you have to be mindful of the company you keep. Don’t half-step the process. For example, if you’re giving up cake, you don’t eat the icing. In simpler terms, no adult toys, oral sex or games to see how close you can get before you cross the line. You wouldn’t get half as many heartbreaks if you worked on your issues and make your body off limits until marriage.

 

What do you say to the women in a relationship who’s been sexually active with her boyfriend and believes she can’t stop having sex with him now because she’s already started?

If –and I mean if- God has ordained for you and your boyfriend to be together, what’s hindering you both from getting married? If you both have committed to cell phone contracts, mortgages, rent, leases, etc, then what’s prohibiting the ultimate commitment? Just because you’ve already started something, does Not mean you can’t stop. If you’re like me, you can attest to the fact that you’ve already started eating more than you should over the years and that is no excuse to continue an unhealthy lifestyle.

 

What words of wisdom do you want to share with our sisters in Christ regarding Celibacy?

Once you really see yourself as a prize, you won’t let just anyone unwrap you. Don’t allow another person to see you in your honeymoon aura, if you have never made it to the honeymoon.

 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ShereesMirrorProject

Instagram: Sherees_Mirror_Project

Twitter: @sheree_inc