Archives for posts with tag: Singles

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I know at times it can be hard to feel and be connected to God. Sometimes it is a lack of faith, current health situation, feeling abandoned by him or just not putting in that work. Are you ashamed to admit it? Do you feel it makes you less of a Christian? Are you angry at God? Well it is normal to have those feelings when you are operating outside of your connection. I can totally relate as I’m going through the season currently. I’ll share with you what is helping me and my prayer is that it will bless you.

Recently, things have gone up and down in my life. From my health to finances to family woes, it has been really trying. I went from studying my word, blogging regularly, praying consistently and connecting to God to none of that. I am going to be honest because someone needs to hear this! It went from thirsting for God’s word to always complaint and throwing myself pity parties. Little by little I stopped reading my bible plan, skipping morning prayer, blogging sporadically and not doing God’s business. Why? Because I became upset with God and where he had me, I felt abandoned. I became so flesh led that I thought “turning my back on him” was hurting him (wow right?). I never realized how much it was hurting me and ruining our connection.

One day I had this profound thought and it was to return to him with my entire heart and soul. I was expecting so much in MY time that I didn’t even acknowledge his timing is perfect. I had to find a way to get back to him so I decided little by little to plug back in. Making prayer my starting point of the day is back on my list. If you want to reconnect to God you HAVE to talk to him and center yourself in his presence without interruption. Don’t give him a quick second and go about your day giving all of yourself to everything/everyone else.

Get in your word: You have to know his word to connect to him because in his silence, his word ALWAYS speaks. That prayer and Bible together is your direct line and connection to him. That is as close as you can get to him when seeking that reconnect. I still struggle because I have that battle of the flesh vs. what I know I should be doing.

Limit distractions: For me, social media can be VERY distracting! If it causes you to covet, lust, question God or spend less time with God, CUT IT until you are spiritually mature. I left Facebook almost 2 years ago and I just deleted Instagram a week ago because I’m not spiritually mature enough to balance. I’ll admit I found myself coveting, questioning and then getting upset with God for where he has me.

Buy yourself some books and read encouraging blogs: I purchased a few books that will pour into me and grow me spiritually. I also browse blogs that have an encouraging word and bring me back. Writing blogs is also a great way to check myself and pour into someone else facing my struggles. I’m brutally honest in my blogs because I want people to know, YES I struggle with these things. I’m not ashamed to share it because I’m better because of it and you will be too.

Have a heart-to-heart with God: Don’t be ashamed, embarrassed or too filled with pride to speak to God. He wants to hear from you! He is waiting for you and I to find our way back. He welcomes us back with open arms and doesn’t beat us down because of our disconnect. Pour your heart out, get back in his presence, start anew and most of all plug back in, your signal is strong.

Standing with you in prayer,

BareFacesPureHearts

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I’m feeling very compelled to write this blog because I believe someone else needs this word. Fear of stepping out can be very crippling, it is very scary and also leaves us stagnant. If you are like myself, you can talk yourself out of ANYTHING! I mean meet your next steps with excuses and literally not move from your comfort zone because you are frozen with fear. In this blog I want to help someone get free from the spirit of stagnancy, fear and encourage you to move forward. Something I haven’t disclosed to anyone is, God placed a vision on my heart BUT I haven’t been obedient and it’s eating me up. I began talking myself out of it, making excuses but I know God’s plan for me is good. He knows I’m in a state of fear but I hear him calling me to move. I had to literally silence the voice of fear in my head and say, “Hush, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – Philippians 4:13 .” In God’s word he has already assured us that we are equipped through him. You don’t need validation from man, he will provide the money to bring it to pass all because you are being obedient to him.

 

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I encourage you to examine why you are fearful. If it is because of rejection just know God wouldn’t have placed it on your heart if he didn’t have people to receive it. He wants this “thing” to be brought to the people because it will help someone. You will bring someone in to him, falling on their face and connecting with our awesome God. If it is because you feel you’re too messed up or have done too much wrong, you’ve been forgiven. I always say there is healing in the process, there is growth in our pain! I struggled for a long time with the opinion of people because they know my past. The simple truth is when you repented GOD wiped your slate clean and doesn’t hold who you once were against you. The opinion of people means absolutely NOTHING when God already stamped his approval on it. When God is handing out blessings he doesn’t ask anyone for their opinion or what you did. He judges you off of the pureness in your heart so shake that off.

 

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The next thing you should do is trust God enough to move when he tells you to. You may be praying and saying you have faith but not showing it. What if God has your blessing at the next step of where you are supposed to be stepping? You could literally be holding yourself back just by not being obedient. If you are not sure how to move your feet, PRAY and ask for the wisdom. I’ve been reading The book of Proverbs lately because I want more wisdom. In Proverbs you are constantly reminded of what a blessing it is to be wise. God will direct you and guide you through the vision he places on your heart. He will NEVER place it in your heart to leave you out wondering if he is there with you as you follow his vision for you.

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Bare Faces Pure Hearts is something God placed in my heart in November 2013. I fought it, I didn’t believe it was from him and I was even scared to share it with people. Again, I felt like people really advanced in the bible would question me. I also felt people would have trouble receiving it from a woman so young. I had so many thoughts, so many excuses BUT I finally followed God’s direction and created a platform for it. This ministry focuses on Single Christian Women who are celibate, interested in becoming celibate and need encouragement through the word of God. I’m pouring back into women that all the standards of beauty in the world are not relevant because God has told us in his word what true beauty is. I’ve been through a storm but God delivered me and is now using me as a vessel to bring his love for us back into focus. ( Follow @barefacespurehearts on Instagram) Let’s pray!

 

Father,

Here I am, your vessel needing a touch from you. You’ve given me a vision and I ask that you release the spirit of fear from my life. I want to spread your word, follow your direction and I know your plans for me are GREAT. As I travel this journey called life, I ask that you keep your hand on me and elevate me because I am now ready. Lord thank you for choosing me in spite of my past and the opinions of others. I’m so happy you see the best in me even when I don’t feel at my best Lord. In your awesome and mighty name I pray,

Amen

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Have you ever had to swallow a big slice of “humble pie” and it went down like glass? I mean it was such a beautifully decorated piece of pie but the taste was awful! Something you never would touch again, something you’d warn your friends about when they got a plate to get a slice? Well I’m glad because I’d like to change your mind and ask you to try many slices because there is growth and lessons in each bite.

 

For quite some time I’ve been praying for God to help me change, help me grow and just do a total work in me. The shock was in how much I’d have to change the person I’d always been. I was raised very well, great person, would give you the shirt off my back, run across a busy freeway to rescue you BUT I was broken in many ways. Even with all those qualities, I needed a touch from God and at one point fought the process. Lately, I’ve been praying for God to convict me in gossiping, my “potty” mouth, parenting and in my areas that could be harmful to my future spouse. What I didn’t know was how hard it would be and how defensive I’d become when he did check me on it.

A few weeks ago I was engaging in a conversation FULL of gossip, I mean just laughing, enjoying, going back and forth with new developments and all in. Clear as day, as if God were on three way with me I heard ” That’s gossip”! Ohhhhh that smile wiped from my face, the laughter stopped abruptly and I immediately started correcting the conversation and got out of it. When I hung up, I started making excuses for the behavior and it felt so wrong but I felt like “God understands, he knows my heart”. Did I even know my own heart in the moment? No! 

Also, with my daughter I’ve been facing some challenges with giving her my full time. Yes, I’m getting better daily but I did make up lots of excuses to hide my mess. The pride in my heart was saying, I raise her alone, she’s with me everyday, I deserve some time to “be an adult” and she is just going to have to find something to occupy herself  sometimes. The conviction God gave me was, you aren’t spending as much time with her as you can, she is a child so you have to nurture her and even though she is with you daily, if you push her away she is going to feel unwanted, unimportant and like your “adult time” is more important than listening to her 30 second story. This is so raw for me to write but it is my TRUTH and I’m better because of God humbling me. Now I make it a conscience effort to hold her, kiss her, sing silly songs with her, tell her I love her, give her my undivided attention and erase the adult time to cater to her and connect with her. Yes it IS work, yes it IS challenging BUT I’m working daily to do it, I’m praying hard to continue doing it, I’m joining parenting plans in my bible app that remind me of the gift that she is and all children are.

Another area is my “potty” mouth and yes I’m totally embarrassed about it and you better believe I’m praying for God to cleanse me of it. Back in the days where I wasn’t so open to having a relationship with Christ, just identifying myself as Christian I wasn’t ashamed of it. I felt like the curse words just finished a sentence so perfectly and meant not to mess with me. I remember sitting in the cafeteria of my college, just cursing up a storm, laughing and a lady from my church went there and turned around and said “Who doing all that cussing”? I said with such pride “ME! Oh yea girl I cuss like a sailor, I don’t give a….” You finish the sentence but I’m typing this right now feeling sooooo embarrassed BUT GOD! I’ve been working to curve it and a lady at my church told me it’s work and to pray about it. You NEVER understand the impact of your behaviors and words until God completely wrecks you and puts you in the situation to hear someone else speaking the way YOU once did. Now, it just stings my eardrums and I see how ignorant I sounded and what horrible example I was setting for my own daughter and it checks me. 

The last thing I’ll discuss is working on areas in myself that could be harmful to my future husband. I’m the first to tell you I’m believing God for a God-lead, God-fearing, totally submitted to God husband! In the past I didn’t think I could do ANY wrong because I was “so good” to my boyfriends. I had been jaded so I went into relationships with trust issues, thinking I was perfect and even belittled one of my exes. I thought foolishly if you were “good in bed” (shouldn’t of been engaging in premarital sex), could throw down in the kitchen (doing a married woman’s duty), treated them well and would be there through thick and thin, I was IT! Like the total package, can’t nobody touch this, no competition. Now I missed the fact that COMMUNICATION was big, with no trust there is no relationship, belittling a man will only drive him away and “good sex” won’t make him stay. Now in doing my work and reading my word I understand that a marriage is sacred to God, it’s going to be constant compromise, sex is for marriage (been celibate for 2 1/2 years), a SOLID relationship with Christ is going to hold us together when we feel like falling apart and God has to be our foundation. I understand communication is going to be key because if we hold in our struggles, we’ll resent each other, become disconnected and infidelity may occur. I also understand to create a place of peace in our home, no man wants to walk into hell after a long day of work! Even guard our threshold, not to let any and everybody trail through our house because I don’t know what spirits may come in with them. I won’t write all the things God has given me in this area but these are the most important.

Had I not taken time to seek God to become better I wouldn’t of gotten to this very place. Pride is a VERY dangerous and nasty thing to operate out of. God said in his word that it’ll destroy us so we can’t afford to stay in such a nasty area. If you are struggling with pride I encourage you to just fall on your knees and pray. Cry out to God, repent, ask him to change your heart and just touch you in a special way. He’s waiting on you to get in his presence and ask for help! Don’t leave him there waiting, run to him and get that comfort and healing only he can give. He wants you to be better, he wants you to grow stronger in your walk and he loves you. He knows you’ll fall short, yet he loves you unconditionally anyway. Nurture that relationship with him, dedicate your entire being to him and watch how he changes you. You won’t even recognize yourself once he starts shaping and molding you into his beautiful image. 

The definition of empty is containing nothing, not filled or occupied. So what happens when we as people start to feel empty? Wearing a smile but on the inside of us feeling like we are broken, nothing to offer and plain ol empty. For some people you may have grown accustom to putting on this front so it doesn’t seem strange, sound familiar? We’ll I come to tell you, it is time to fill your glass through the word of GOD.

For the past few weeks my sister and I have been battling people over our children. With my daughter, it has been body image and she is only 5!!!! I didn’t know this issue was possible at such a young age but I’m not shocked because I too battled it. I came to find out my daughter is feeling self conscious because a little boy in her class  has been making comments about her. Now I’ll be honest, I told her to knock his head off( pray for me) but I had to retract the statement.  I immediately started to reaffirm her, telling her God does not make mistakes and she is fearfully and wonderfully made (psalms 139:14). I ended up telling her not to even play with him anymore because he is not being nice to her.  As a woman I understand we have to deal with men our entire lives, what we go through young does carry into adulthood. If you have a little boy downing you at 5, that sets a tone and you have a duty to protect yourself and be protected.

For my sister the issue is quite different because it’s adults being inappropriate with her daughter. I’m talking about people who should KNOW better, like too old to be antagonizing a child. My niece was born premature so she can’t sit down for long periods of time, talks more than some children and might act up a bit. We know these things but some adults aren’t smarter than 5th graders and just write children off as bad because they do not fit their mold. From the school to some other places it’s been a battle, people pushing her to the side, kicking her out of places (YES A 5 YEAR OLD) all because they haven’t taken the time to understand her. This made me VERY upset and even brought my sister to tears because of the treatment and stress. I was so upset because God has said children are a gift to us and we are to treat them well (psalms 127: 3-5) . When adults forget this, they are able to do things that they know are not right and God will punish them for it. 

In these situations we have felt empty, tired of repeating ourselves and having to tell grown ups how to handle children. You’d think it was pretty simple but it is not and can cause you to feel helpless. The thing that encourages me is that, God is fighting this battle with us and he knows our heart. He knows we honestly want the best for our children and he knows that we are going to follow his guidance on the situation. A verse that encourages me is Matthew 11:28 going down to 30 and it simply says ” Come unto me, all that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Somebody ought to feel encouraged right there because he just told you, you aren’t carrying this alone. Give it to me and I will work it out for you, where you can only do so much I can do all things so let me handle this. This is a situation where all you can do is trust him to turn it around and watch him work his blessings over you and your situation. That empty feeling you went to sleep on should’ve been given to him in your night time prayer to him. I have a habit of flopping down face first on my bed and calling on the name of Jesus. I just get to that point where the only thing I can say is Jesus, help me, I am DONE and I can’t handle this. He sweeps right in and reassures me that he has this and to release my cares on to him and he will refill my once empty feeling cup. When you are feeling empty in your flesh, take time to feed your spirit because he has a blessing for you. You aren’t going through this trial in vain, he is strengthening you and building your faith muscle. When you have less just remember there is an On on the end, this LESSon is just preparing you for greater ahead and you need to know that! Rest in his word, believe in his promises and watch the outcome of your situation. Let’s pray!

 

Dear Gracious Father,

I thank you for waking me this morning, thank you for giving me a testimony, thank you for working things out for me that I can’t even see. As I come to you today I ask that you would touch the hearts of people who are mistreating my children. I ask that you create a plan for these people to learn to show you instead of their flesh. I don’t know what things they are going through behind the scenes but I ask that you touch their hearts, minds, souls and lives so they can be better in you. I ask that you continue to fight for and with myself and my children as I try to teach them your ways. Lord I know you are mighty and that you can turn any bad situation into a beautiful situation and I believe you for that in my situation.  Thank you Lord for loving me, protecting me, strengthening me and guiding me in life, in your name I pray,

amen

I can count on both hands and feet how many times people have told me to fight for what I believe in. We believe just because we believe in it, it is going to work in our favor, right? WRONG, I’m here to tell you if you don’t consult God, it is not going to work in your favor. I’ve been placed in difficult positions lately, from friendships to teachers and family and it just gets tough. You think if your fight is for a good cause nobody will be able to deny you and they WILL. 

Recently I decided to reach out to a state program that my daughter attends because it just hasn’t been flowing right. I’d tried speaking to the teacher and she just wasn’t receptive. When I enrolled her I was told it was Pre-K but they had so many different elements in the classroom I didn’t believe she would learn anything. I’m talking about children ages 3-5, some don’t speak English, they were playing all day and I was just fed up. After getting no where with the teacher I finally had to call in the big dogs also known as the director and state officials. It went from the blame game to the straight up “how much money do you have to put toward this program?” I was shocked because I thought inquiring about a proper education for my soon to be kindergartner would be smiled upon. Sadly it was not and I felt totally defeated, I got off the phone feeling like a dart had been shot into my chest.

I simply had to just pull out woman’s biggest weapon known to man, prayer. I laid on my bed and just poured my heart out to God, letting him know how I felt and asking for his direction. I wanted to get things done on MY timing not giving God the upper hand and letting him work things out. I just felt an urgency to “make them do their job” but God was sitting me down to watch him work. Isn’t it sometimes frustrating when we cant get things our way? Don’t you just despise having to stay in your seat when you feel you were called to action? Well don’t because God has a plan for your hardships and frustration.

After my attempts, I’m still unsure of what the outcome is but I trust and believe he is working things out on my behalf. I truly believe he will not let things continue the way they have been going. Although I want to keep fighting for it, I refuse to get in his way trying to fix things myself. He has promised me in his word that what is meant for my bad, he’ll turn for my good so I’ll rest in that. I also know for without faith it is impossible to please him. I won’t give bible scriptures because I want you to go look it up for yourself. Just know that your crying is only momentarily, it has it’s expiration date and he is going to take care of it, WHEN you leave it to him.

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When you are single the statement “You attract who you are” can be very damaging to your soul. As a woman of God, you read the words God says about you and it seems to conflict with what the world is saying. What voice should you listen to? Why is this stigma placed on single women, waiting to be someone’s good thing? Is this statement really true? How can you respond to people who throw this at you? Lets explore the topic and hopefully by the end of this blog you are empowered, feeling full of knowledge and ready to take on anyone who says this to you.

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First let me explain to you that singleness is NOT a disease, a curse or a cruel punishment from God. Singleness is beauty and you get to learn yourself on such a level. You are given the chance to follow God, uninterrupted and figure out your calling and purpose as it relates to pleasing Christ. I myself am doing A LOT of self work, changed my horrible attitude, connected with God, got into my word really deep, chose a life of celibacy and got on this pursuit of bringing glory to God. This blog and my soon coming ministry #BareFacesPureHearts are apart of my journey to finding myself and doing God’s business. As a single Christian woman I’ve found people tell you to constantly change to be found by a man. It’s always something we could do better or more of in the eyes of the world; whether it be changing our dress attire or changing who we are. None of those things are going to speed up God’s timing for when you find your husband so don’t be fooled.

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I’ve been single for a couple of years now and all I see is “You attract who you are” and it’s simply not true. I get approached by drunken and old men and that is NO reflection of me. I’m 25 so there goes the you’re older so that’s why the old men want you and I do not drink so there goes that theory too. God has a plan for your love life so if you attract broke, old, drunk, thuggy, living off their potential, gold digging, unattractive men, this has NOTHING to do with you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made and God wouldn’t send you someone who will subtract from your life. Don’t spend your time trying to make yourself up or change who you are to be found by a man. The man for you is going to love you from the moment he sees you, accept you flaws and all and love all the woman of God that you are.

What voice should you listen to? You should read your bible and see what God says about you. The world has a different standard of what beauty is. To the world beauty means; heels, long straight hair, thin framed, face full of make-up, money falling out your wallet because it’s so full and name brand clothing. None of those things are beautiful, all those things are cover ups to hide a deeper rooted issue that they are battling on the inside. To God beauty is on the inside of you, God searches your inner so that’s where your focus should be. You are most beautiful when your life pours out Christ from every fiber of your being and you are bringing people to Christ. Listen to God’s voice and follow his direction!

Why is this stigma placed on single women waiting to be someone’s good thing? Single women get this stigma placed on us because some are desperate. Some women can’t stand to be single so they settle for less than they’re worth and will change themselves to get a man. Single women also get this stigma placed on them because they let too many worldly people speak into their lives. You MUST be careful who you let mentor you or speak into your life! Everyone isn’t for you and sometimes they don’t even have the rules together themselves.

Is this statement really true? Absolutely NOT! This is one of the most ignorant misguided statements to ever be created! If you know you are aligning your life with Christ, you are fine. If you know you are living a life dedicated to Christ, he will definitely send you the man you deserve. Though the single season can last a long period of time, don’t EVER settle. Wait on God to bring this man into your life! No matter how long you are single, remember God has someone set aside for you and you will come together when HE sees fit!

How can you respond to someone who throws this at you? You let them know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and no matter who comes your way, that won’t change. Remind them that you know you are someone’s good thing and you aren’t going to be shaken by the statement. Let them know they should pick up their bible and find out what God says about them and tell them don’t speak that death over you. 

One thing you can rest assured in is God has the final say over your life, NOT man. If God says you’ll be single then that’s what it is, you aren’t going to change his mind. I know it’s easy to get discouraged and feel like you might be in this season forever BUT you won’t. You attract who wants to come over and try you but that doesn’t mean you have to entertain them. When someone doesn’t line up with your standards show them the exit. Don’t be afraid to tell people no thank you or you aren’t fitting the mold for a man of God. Sure they may get offended but you have a right to turn them down and not feel bad about it. Let’s pray!

Dear Lord,

I come to you today thanking you for all you’ve done for me, thank you for loving me and protecting me. I ask you forgive me for any sins that I may have committed today and restore me. As your daughter I ask that in your timing you send my mate and let us bring glory to your name. I thank you for showing me the way you feel about me and what I should require in a man who wants to be apart of my life. My heart belongs to you and I have faith that you’ll bring me a man who has asked you for me first. Thank you Lord for showing me my worth! In your name I pray,

Amen