Archives for the month of: April, 2014

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I want everyone who reads this blog to read Hebrews Chapter 11 vs. 1-40. The verse I want to touch on is verse one and it states “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. Now I know when you are believing God for things, it can be extremely difficult to have faith and its especially hard when people are getting “your” blessings. I mean you can  just about scroll any of your social media and see that job you were believing God for, someone got it! That car you’ve been praying over, someone got it! That engagement you’ve been waiting on, oh look someone has got that too BUT it is THEIR time.Do you have faith to get you through your pain and disappointment? Well after this blog I believe you will, travel with me for a second.

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So a week ago i wrote in to a local agency trying to see my status on a apartment. I’ve been on the list now for 3 years and won the lottery but never heard anything back. About 4 days ago my phone rang and it was a lady from the agency. Her voice was full of enthusiasm and she confirmed my information and told me something would be out in the mail. I was so excited thinking, YES, this is finally it, I am going to finally get my own place. Oh that letter came BUT it sure didn’t have the words I wanted to see written on the lines! It read “you are active on the waiting list” and with some asterisk it said we won’t be giving any vouchers out through 2016 .OHHHHHH I was beside myself with grief and disappointment BUT I kept a positive attitude. I immediately went to telling my heart to be quiet, sucked those tears back into my eye socket and tried to keep smiling. I said out loud, well God has something better for me so this is just a “not yet”. On the inside my flesh was going crazy, I was fussing at God, asking why, why, why, I’ve been faithful,been celibate, I’ve paid my tithes every month for the last year and asked how he could do this to me. I just could not understand why a servant following God’s commands would be slapped down once again and expected to have this thing called faith.

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 I was beyond hurt, disappointed, discouraged and plain ol wanted to throw myself a pity party BUT I didn’t do it. I instead told God, “God this hurts so bad, I don’t understand it but I trust you”. “I don’t like the way this feels, I don’t want to smile though it but you know what you are doing so I just have to keep believing in your timing and decisions”. My faith was and is bigger than that disappointment, that rejection definitely hurt but I know better things are up ahead. Remember God knows the desires of your heart and he will give them to you but you have to submit to him first. I can admit, I stopped reading my bible and thirsting after him the way I once was. I had to snap myself back into gear and realize if I can’t be consistent with what he requires of me, why would he give me more? I haven’t nurtured the things he’s already given me so God isn’t going to give me more. Know that God has a way of getting your attention and if you don’t listen, he’ll make it plain and sting!

Another thing that you can rest in is he doesn’t run out of blessings! He has all power in his hands and he will definitely have a portion for you in his timing. No amount of pouting, crying and feeling sorry for yourself is going to speed up that timing. You should also learn to celebrate others, when they get that thing or those things you’ve been praying for, BE HAPPY FOR THEM! That means he is making his way around to you but make sure you are in alignment with him. I have gotten back on my blogging, reading my bible, praying without ceasing and just feeding my spirit over my flesh. I’m even looking to host some events for the ministry he placed on my heart (look out for that). Sure I want that house, looking forward to that relationship, believing him for new employment, praying over a new car but I understand to nurture my relationship with Christ first. If he can’t trust me with a little, when I get a lot he knows I’ll be placing him on the back burner so he’s strengthening me in this time. Sure at times it feels like lack but I’ve learned many things just by sitting back and observing other people’s mistakes. Let’s Pray!

Father God,

I come to you tonight thanking you for the many things you are doing in my life. You have sustained me through my season of unemployment, been a comforter on my lonely nights, given me a car that runs and even made sure I haven’t missed any meals. Lord, I appreciate the love you’ve shown toward me, even when I haven’t always shown it back to you. I come to you father asking that you forgive me for my sins, forgive me for a lack of faith at times and give me strength to keep going. Yes Lord, it hurts to be denied my wants but I know you have something better for me in YOUR timing. I may not like the way it feels, I may not like the time it takes to get what I’m believing you for but I surrender it unto you. Thank you Lord for giving me a spirit of belief, love, hope, faith and assuring me that you are in the blessing business. In your name I pray,

Amen

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