The Break-up (Moving Forward)

Have you ever felt like you’d found “the one” or been found by “the one”? Everything is going great (or not), you are vibing, in love, the happiest you’ve ever been right? So what do you do when all of that comes crashing down and you find yourself suddenly single? That is the question I have been asking myself for the past week.

A week ago, my just a month shy of 3 years relationship ended suddenly. I AM devastated to say the least. I went through the toughest day the day after. I cried, cried and did I mention cried all day! I was tempted to stay in bed all weekend and sulk but something was different in me.

 I decided I was NOT going to allow this break-up to take me down. I jumped out of bed, attended to my personal hygiene and got on the road to my mom’s house. I played gospel music the entire way there and sang along. My heart and spirit felt so good on that hour and 15 minute ride.

I had to get up and keep moving because I know who I am. I had to smile and appreciate the beauty in my situation because I am confident in the caliber of woman I am. If he didn’t see that he was blessed with the best, his lost not mine. So, I know you may be tempted to sulk and cry but I’m going to give you some tips to help you through this.

First thing: It is OK to be sad and you should sit in each emotion. Feel it, journal it, sing it, meditate on it and remember to breathe through it.

Second thing: Remember your goals and start working towards them. Create a vision board, go try a new class, listen to a new artist. This will help you begin to enjoy what is now your “new normal”.

Third thing: Remove any photographs, letters, text or anything from the person IF you are ready. I know none of that is easy, but it is going to be neccessary to remove the reminders so you can focus on healing. Yes, delete them from your social media and delete their contact.

Fourth thing: I highly suggest listening to some motivational speakers on YouTube or via podcast. I have been BINGE WATCHING Derrick Jaxn and Trent Shelton videos. To hear someone remind you how valuable you are, what not to settle for, that you can do what you set your mind to is so refreshing. The moment I found their videos and paired it with my determination to get through this, I began to feel much better.

Fifth thing: Write down what you want in your next relationship. Reflect on what you’ve learned through the last relationship. Detail your deal breakers and actually stick by them if you didn’t before.

I am still figuring out what all works for me. The tips above have been pulling me through. I must admit I haven’t felt this determined and focused in over a year. I know one day the right man will come along and we can build together. I also still believe in marriage and desire it deeply.

I’m in no rush, I am just focusing on being a better mom, finishing my degree, this state move I’m in the process of. I have many things to occupy my mind and time but I also still honor my times of sadness. If I need to cry it out, I will stop and do that. There’s no easy way to healing, you just have to go through it and you WILL be OK in time.

Reintroduction/ It’s Been A While

Wow, it has been so long since I have done this! I’m excited to be back and ready to share what’s been up with me. I have had one challenging year. I lost my father this year and it seems like that has just flipped life on its head for me. I’ve developed anxiety and depression and that has not been easy.

Today is one of my hard days, one of those days where I just feel like blah. I noticed that the Holiday season is almost unbearable with my dad being gone. It is a daily battle to keep a smile on my face or not go off on someone. I also feel like I’d like to be left alone a lot. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, right?

Depression is not fun, it isn’t a joke and it can be debilitating. I have made the commitment to myself to keep going. Have there been many times I’ve thought about ending my life? YES! I am choosing to believe that, there is indeed more to keep living for. Each day I continue to tell myself, keep going and I do.

I can share with you that even though I lost my dad and life looks dreary, it isn’t. My father would have told me that everything is going to work out fine and to keep going. My father would be smiling at the fact that I’m going to graduate and receive my Bachelor’s degree in 2018. I’m putting that into the atmosphere, claiming and receiving that right now in the name of Jesus.

I can share with you that I have begun speaking and living my truth. I have begun speaking up for myself, no matter who doesn’t agree. I am finally working towards the life I want. So this year hasn’t been the most favorable, but I am going to make strides daily to live my best life.

I am going to keep moving forward and I know that this will get better. I’m committed to overcoming anxiety and depression. I am also committed to what it shows me and making sure to honor my emotions.

Battling Anxiety & Depression: You’re not alone

This is going to be A LOT of writing  just a forewarning. I’ve found that lately there is an influx of people like myself who struggle with anxiety and depression. I’m willing to share my story to not only feel better but help someone else.

I noticed I was having a struggle with anxiety around the time both of my parents got really ill so maybe 2-3 years ago. Lately it has gotten progressively worst and it’s really a struggle. To get out the bed some days is dreadful. Some days I just want to be in my room, curtains closed and just cry, cry cry. At first I didn’t recognize it was anything but thought I was overly sensitive suddenly. I knew I had these thoughts of I wasn’t good enough, felt like a failure when I couldn’t pass my math class but still I didn’t know this was linked to depression. I felt myself dreading the future, feeling like a fish out of water but STILL I didn’t know this was anxiety. Partially was I thought I had it all together, the other part was I don’t have a chance to be weak because I have so many people depending on me & demanding something of me. That’s another thing I’ve noticed, I have a really hard time saying no and sticking to it. It wasn’t until I spoke to my therapist about my feelings that I found out what was really going on in me.

I wish I could say that it’s something easy to overcome or that you will be over it quickly but I’d be lying. Anxiety and Depression is VERY real, very hard to conquer and takes time to get a handle on. I’m still figuring out daily how to live with it and I’ll say it again, it is very hard! My struggle with it is there is guilt and shame attached to it so it makes me retreat a lot. That’s part of depression, closing yourself off from the world. Isolating yourself from friends, family and social activities is a sign of depression. Those suicidal thoughts, that overwhelming sensitivity, those thoughts of not being good enough, being extra hard on yourself all depression! I’ve had those thoughts of swallowing a handful of pills and ending it all. I’ve had those thoughts of being on the freeway and hitting a high rate of speed and slamming into a wall to end it all. I’ve been there and it isn’t any fun, it’s quite scary actually. What I’m learning is to talk about it and seek help professionally. I’ve learned a couple steps and hopefully you all can share what you do or your experiences with me in the comments.

STEP 1: Understand that this is real, you are NOT alone and that you are valuable. No matter how bad you feel in the moment understand that you ARE valuable, you ARE loved and this isn’t going to take you under.

STEP 2: Make the decision to be around family and friends one day a week. I know you feel like isolating yourself and even hurting yourself is a good decision but it isn’t. Depression & anxiety thrive in isolation so you need to be around people who love you and care for you.

STEP 3: Seek professional help! When you are thinking about ending your life or harming yourself it is time to talk to someone. Pull your closest friend aside and tell them what you are going through as well. You need a network of support, again anxiety and depression thrive in isolation.

These are just a couple of the things I’m doing but I know it’s way more to it than this. I’m no expert, I just know what I’m going through and what is pushing me forward. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. Many people are silently suffering and I’m making the decision not to suffer in silence anymore. Feel free to comment and let me know how you are coping with this.

 

I Choose To Believe

 

(Photo credit: Pinterest, I do not own this image)

Hello Brothers & Sisters in Christ, it’s been several months since I’ve blogged. Life has been both bitter sweet for me since November but God IS STILL good and faithful! I’m currently in the middle of wedding planning, back working and trying my best to keep this diabetes in range to be healthy. Pray for and with me as I continue to walk this journey we call life.

Today in particular I got hit with a major curve ball. I’d made this dental appointment four months ago and have been looking forward to it. Well this afternoon I got a call from the office and the receptionist had some financial news for me. She says hey, you have a $567 share of cost, did you know this? My heart sank into my chest because I knew by Monday I wouldn’t be able to pay this. I bellowed out WHAT???!! She says yes, according to documents you’ve submitted, you make too much to qualify for your regular plan. We chatted some more and to make a long story short, I had to give up this appointment. I immediately became angry and began to cry because I hadn’t been informed of this.

(Photo credit: Pinterest, I do not own this image)

I just sat in my kitchen, tears streaming down my cheeks asking God why. I kept saying Lord, what is this? What is your plan? I said some colorful words too (just being honest) and paced back and forth as I kept pouring out my frustration and sadness to God. It was silent but even in my frustration, even in my anger and even in my sadness, I just choose to believe. I’m not sure why things went awry but I trust God has good reasoning for it.

I find it is so easy to allow the devil to steal your peace or your joy. I had to take my power back, popped on my gospel music and began to praise. My soul is at peace because I know God has my back. His ways and his plan are perfect and if you just hold on a little while he’ll reveal it. Exercise your faith in the midst of adversity and tell God, “Lord I choose to believe, your will your way”. No matter what comes your way, you will absolutely be okay. Not sure who said it first but faith it until you make it and I promise you, it will turn in your favor. Let’s Pray!

Most faithful and powerful Lord,

I come to you now with a open heart and mind. Thank you for protecting me, providing for me and seeing in me what I don’t even see in myself. Father I am faced with what seems like a hardship but I know you’ll make it alright. I choose to believe in you and exercise my faith because you are faithful. I choose to wait on the revelation of your plan and praise you in the midst of it all. Thank you Lord for my husband to be, my daughter and please watch over us as we sleep tonight. In your son Jesus Christ name I do pray, Amen.

 

 

He Loves Me/ He Loves Me Not

Wow, it has been some time since I have blogged or really done anything related to BFPH. I’m NOT proud of that so here I am trying to revamp it. I remember being in a really healthy spiritual and emotional place when I first started BFPH. Things have changed in my life this year and I’m going to speak briefly about it. This blog (and others) have been on my heart but I just didn’t share it but look out for it because I’ll be posting more and more about my journey this year. Let’s dive right into this blog though.

So, early this year I had the chance to meet a pretty nice guy. We talked, he knew God, he honored my decision to be celibate until marriage and he is a parent. I fell for him rather quickly but kept my feelings to myself until I got the official word for him on his feelings. In April, he expressed to me wanting to keep things light and I was devastated but I went with it. In May, he decided that he wanted more and told me he loved me. I was overjoyed and excited to be in a relationship because after all, I’d been single for 4 years. We communicated well, I was able to open up to him about my past hurts, he was supportive of me reuniting my daughter with her father and just was the man of my dreams. I thanked God nightly for him and we began to speak of marriage a few weeks later. I was really over the moon because as you’ve read previously on my blog I deeply desired marriage and thought God had blessed me with this gift and it was about to happen.

Fast forward down a few more months and I had been getting advice from different sources on what to expect in the next phase of our life. I called my Pastor’s wife for her expertise when we had those little arguments and I was actively preparing to be a wife. Now, I know you can NEVER be fully prepared or prepare to be married but I knew there were little issues I had that I’d need to work on before I could marry this man. I did that work and in my mind all things were a go, for him it was not. Recently, we had a petty argument/misunderstanding that I thought we’d brush over. He had been experiencing mixed feelings and decided he wanted to go another direction with his life. Now this has left me baffled, confused, hurt, shocked and so many other things. I’ve been filled with anger and I’ve acted it out on him and I am not happy about that. You just don’t know how you are going to react to someone who has hurt you very deeply. He has been really vocal about his disdain for my treatment of him. I thought how dare he tell me about how he feels after he has driven a knife through my heart and twisted it? The gall of some people but he is right! Just because I am hurting, my job as a daughter of Christ is to still show love and be kind. But how do you show the love of Christ when you are mad at Christ? Yes, I said it, I am angry with Christ because I felt he should’ve saved me from this pain. That’s a trip isn’t it? I’m smart enough to know that God isn’t at fault for this, I am! My relationship with Christ wasn’t even strong when I entered the relationship but here I was expecting him to honor it. I had begun slipping in my bible studies, engaged in some inappropriate conversations with this man but I expected God to cover me in it?

Well my first and most important priority should have been to get right with the Savior. I should’ve stayed connected to the vine instead of running off trying to become married. I should have been working to become whole in Christ instead of making this man my primary focus and neglecting Christ. Truthfully, God spoke to me MANY times in that relationship and gave me warnings not to make him my mini god. I did not listen because I wanted it so bad, I was willing to run through all the warnings and stop signs to get to my fleshly desires.

Your Suffering Is God’s Blessing (Look For Your Lesson)

Now I know to hear that the suffering we go through is a blessing can sound like an insult, right? I know first hand that I cried my heart, eyes and soul out due to the hardships of life. Isn’t it strange how we can go through something that we feel we can’t bare and we serve this awesome God, but where is he???? Like, what God would treat his children like this? What Loving father would allow you to lose your job, your spouse, your home, your mother or father, right? A good God and if you continue reading I’m going to help you see why he is worthy to be praised in the midst of these and many more troubles. James 1, verse two tells us that when we see trouble this is time to be happy. Sounds impossible up against what you’re facing right now huh? It is not because God has brought you to it to change you in the trouble. A lot of our troubles are troubles because we’ve seen in our past and maybe we didn’t handle it so here it comes again. In my particular case, my faith was a thing I just could not get right to save my entire life and I’d prayed to be more trusting of God so he gave me the opportunity.

A few months ago my family and I started having problems with our landlord. Oh he’s been taking us through the ringer theses days. I’m talking rent increase, 90 day notices, attorneys threatening me and I just freaked out. I cried, I stressed, I doubted, but in the end God came through. He sent a news anchor to tell our story on the most popular new station and in turn our landlord retracted. I was so ecstatic and thanked God for showing up and out in our situation. Now fast forward to February 12, 2015 and here comes this SAME attorney in my emails with a whole new notice. I opened it and low and behold our landlord has decided to sale the place. Ohhhh did I get upset and immediately begin to freak out once AGAIN, crying and screaming BUT I heard “o ye of little faith”.

I’d reached out to multiple attorneys offices and even called my friend at the news station and they were of little help. Then I remembered, HEY, you have been through this and the same God that saved you from this situation last time will have glory in this situation too. I checked myself and thanked God for bringing me back to this situation to strengthen my faith. See, God equips us with exactly what we need, we just have to be faithful and humble enough to endure and grow from our troubles. I know the growing period and learning phase can feel like it is goingto end your life. I submit to you today to ask GOD, “What lesson are you teaching me in this?” “Where can I grow and how can I do better this next time around?” I promise when you see your trials and tribulations in this light you will feel so much better because it brings you back to the rock. God is standing right there waiting for you to exercise your faith and even pray to him, he is waiting on you to call upon him. He operates in the impossible, in your faith he is at work and all you have to do is believe he is here for you.

Right now, just lay across your bed, couch or even drop to your knees and say God forgive me for missing the lesson. Lord I know you are faithful, I know you will bring me through so I hand it over to you right here today. I will not stress, doubt or worry about what man can do because you surpass it all. Lord I hear your teaching, I submit to your direction and I praise you for this time of suffering because in it I am made stronger and wiser. Father I outstretch my arms as I lay, stand or kneel acknowledging you for all that you are and welcoming in your spirit to guide me. Forgive me father for(name your sin/doubt) and create in me a new mind and understanding. This is my prayer, my request unto you Oh God. Amen

Want to stay connected to my blog? Keep visiting, look around and follow me on Twitter!

@WOGMovement25

If you are in need of prayer, reach out in the comments and I’ll email you. We can walk this path together, connected through God’s love. You have help, you have a prayer partner if you need one and God will see you through. God bless you!

Experiencing A Move of God

(Photo credit: Bibleapp)

This bible verse just completely wrecked me when I read it. Lately, I’ve been seeking God and honestly it has not been with my whole heart. What I mean by that is, I have been hesitant to completely surrender unto him. I’ve been really honest about my walk and my struggles. I wanted to put in a half effort and get great results and of course I learned, God isn’t going to allow that. I have recently been reading a lot of spiritual books, doing a little meditation and increasing my prayer life. Things have been tense but I still know that God has a plan for me, I just need to be still and trust him.

Today just so happens to be my daughter’s 6th birthday and although I had a great time, my mind was running. Thinking about how I am going to make ends meet and it became overwhelming. As I pulled down her decorations I remembered that I was supposed to start my Jesus Calling devotional yesterday. I came into my room, book in hand and decided I was going to start reading it. As I began to read the introduction, I felt an overwhelming feeling to lay down. I ignored my body but kept on reading and I heard God saying to me, “surrender”. I kept reading trying to ignore the voice I had heard and I heard it again, “surrender”. Now, I’ve heard of this type of thing but I always quietly doubted it because it hadn’t happened to me.

(Photo credit: Sarah Young “Jesus Calling”

I could not even believe that God was pulling at my heart strings like that. He knew my “secret” of trying to run from him so he came and got me. When I say I ended up sprawled out, across my bed with tears streaming down my face, I mean it. All I could do was say, “Lord, I surrender” over and over again! I began to tell him that I’m handing it over to him, the guilt, the shame, the impatience, the impurities, the questioning and doubting him. I could not get up and as I poured my heart out to him, I slowly felt a warm peace come over me. I just laid there with my face in my covers and my eyes closed for a minute as he soothed my worried mind. Before I knew it, all that heaviness I’ve been carrying around for weeks just melted right off of me. I didn’t worry about how people would judge me because of the way my life has been going for the past couple of years. I found comfort in Jeremiah 29:11. I felt comfort in the fact that he has a plan for me and in due time, he will reveal it. I don’t have to stack myself up against someone else’s success because he has me in a special spot. He knows the plans he has for me and my season isn’t here yet but he is working behind the scenes for me. He definitely loves me and he has great things in store for me. No matter how tough things get, he is not leaving me but shaping and molding me. Let’s Pray!

Father God,

I come to you now thanking you for revealing yourself to me in a special way. I thank you for hearing my fears, seeing my tears and coming to remind me of your love for me. Lord, this journey may not be easy but you have not and will not leave me. Father I know that you have my best interest at heart and I bless your name for hiding me until I am more mature spiritually. I know that you have great plans for me and you have come to get your daughter and reassure me that everything is going to be okay. Thank you Lord for loving me even when I didn’t want it. Forgive me for pushing you away and doubting your capabilities in my situation. I surrender unto your direction, unto your word and cast all my burdens upon you because I know you will take care of them. Thank you for sustaining me and continuing to open spiritual doors for me to walk through and learn. It is in your mighty name I pray,

Amen

Reconnecting To God (When your signal is just not there)

I know at times it can be hard to feel and be connected to God. Sometimes it is a lack of faith, current health situation, feeling abandoned by him or just not putting in that work. Are you ashamed to admit it? Do you feel it makes you less of a Christian? Are you angry at God? Well it is normal to have those feelings when you are operating outside of your connection. I can totally relate as I’m going through the season currently. I’ll share with you what is helping me and my prayer is that it will bless you.

Recently, things have gone up and down in my life. From my health to finances to family woes, it has been really trying. I went from studying my word, blogging regularly, praying consistently and connecting to God to none of that. I am going to be honest because someone needs to hear this! It went from thirsting for God’s word to always complaint and throwing myself pity parties. Little by little I stopped reading my bible plan, skipping morning prayer, blogging sporadically and not doing God’s business. Why? Because I became upset with God and where he had me, I felt abandoned. I became so flesh led that I thought “turning my back on him” was hurting him (wow right?). I never realized how much it was hurting me and ruining our connection.

One day I had this profound thought and it was to return to him with my entire heart and soul. I was expecting so much in MY time that I didn’t even acknowledge his timing is perfect. I had to find a way to get back to him so I decided little by little to plug back in. Making prayer my starting point of the day is back on my list. If you want to reconnect to God you HAVE to talk to him and center yourself in his presence without interruption. Don’t give him a quick second and go about your day giving all of yourself to everything/everyone else.

Get in your word: You have to know his word to connect to him because in his silence, his word ALWAYS speaks. That prayer and Bible together is your direct line and connection to him. That is as close as you can get to him when seeking that reconnect. I still struggle because I have that battle of the flesh vs. what I know I should be doing.

Limit distractions: For me, social media can be VERY distracting! If it causes you to covet, lust, question God or spend less time with God, CUT IT until you are spiritually mature. I left Facebook almost 2 years ago and I just deleted Instagram a week ago because I’m not spiritually mature enough to balance. I’ll admit I found myself coveting, questioning and then getting upset with God for where he has me.

Buy yourself some books and read encouraging blogs: I purchased a few books that will pour into me and grow me spiritually. I also browse blogs that have an encouraging word and bring me back. Writing blogs is also a great way to check myself and pour into someone else facing my struggles. I’m brutally honest in my blogs because I want people to know, YES I struggle with these things. I’m not ashamed to share it because I’m better because of it and you will be too.

Have a heart-to-heart with God: Don’t be ashamed, embarrassed or too filled with pride to speak to God. He wants to hear from you! He is waiting for you and I to find our way back. He welcomes us back with open arms and doesn’t beat us down because of our disconnect. Pour your heart out, get back in his presence, start anew and most of all plug back in, your signal is strong.

Standing with you in prayer,

BareFacesPureHearts

EVERYBODY, Just STOP!!!!!! (God Got THIS)

Well where do you start when you just have the need to freeze time? Have you ever been in a position where you just wish you had that “click” remote? I mean if you could pull out that remote and just stop all production on life you would’ve abused it by now? I am in that season RIGHT now and I want to encourage not only you but myself.

(Photo credit: Faithclub.org)

The first thing I’ve come to realize is that I’ve cast my cares upon The Lord half heartedly. I’m so flustered because I’ve given him my “junk” but I keep going back to check on it. He has made way after way, answered prayer after prayer and here I am totally frazzled. What I had/have to do is remember, GOD HAS ME! So you know my advice to you is, give it over to him understanding and knowing GOD HAS YOU! He doesn’t need our help to step into our situations, he got this. No matter what storm we are facing in the coming week, day, hour, minute, second, health bad, bills overflowing, GOD got this. He is overseeing us so he already knows what the outcome is. We have to have faith in our Heavenly Father, know that even though it doesn’t feel good or look good it’s going to end in OUR good. You know Vashawn Mitchell’s song “Turning Around For Me?” Well I encourage you to believe those lyrics because as he sang, it won’t always be like this. Believe that sooner or later it’ll turn in my favor!

(Photo credit: Flickr.com)

I know that many things are ahead of me for the upcoming week so I’m choosing to trust God. When the plot thickens in my life, I’m going to speak life over myself. My cares? I’m going to cast them upon him and believe that he has my back. Though we may get discouraged and think he isn’t moving “fast enough” God got this! Even in our rants or total despair it may even feel like he isn’t for us but HE IS! He is waiting on you to let go of that “junk” and let him discard it properly. I encourage you tonight, when things get tough, get so unbearable to your human strength, call out to him. If you are at work, go to the bathroom and remind yourself “God you got this!” Lord it’s NOT over and I declare this path is going to straighten. What ever situation you find yourself in, just throw your head back, stretch your arms out and start to pray. If you can’t do that then just stop what you are doing, bow your head and start declaring his word and love over yourself. Don’t stay in that moment of frustration, cry out, call out, shout it out, just release the feelings of defeat.  Let’s pray!

Father God,

I come to you with a heart full of thanks! Even though life is beating on me I know you got this. I thank you for sustaining me in the midst of storms, attacks, lack and everything that has come to destroy me. Lord I fall down on my knees, at your feet knowing that you are keeping me. I call upon your name for protection, my needs being met and the spirit of defeat and distress being lifted from me. As you guide me on this path I open my mind and heart to all the blessings you have in store for me. I declare right now father that the storm can’t take me under because you have your hands on me. Father I see you working things out, I believe you are before me knocking down all things/ people looking for my downfall. I am the head and not the tail, all things are working together for my good, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. You have ALL power in YOUR hands Lord, you are the one and only God, I praise and thank you right now in advance for what you are doing. I declare and decree your goodness, your faithfulness and your mercy over all the situations I’m facing God. You have won again! I will have victory, the chains are falling off of me right now,I’m no longer hostage to those negative thoughts! It is in your name I pray and say thank you Lord,

amen

Why Boaz Is NOT the standard for Single Christian Women

 

As a single Christian woman you have definitely heard of Boaz. From women saying “waiting for my Boaz” to women saying “don’t rush for your Boaz”. This immediately was intriguing to me but I hadn’t read my bible so I kind of stuck with the “standard” of Boaz. Once I opened my bible I saw that Boaz was a great protector, a good guy but he didn’t have eyes for Ruth. He saw Ruth for her value but he didn’t particularly show an interest in her for a life partner/wife. How many times have WE settled for some one? How many times have we made ourselves available to a man who we hadn’t got confirmation was even interested in us? MANY TIMES! I know this was a leading reason I kept ending up heartbroken, because I wasn’t chosen, I chose.

 

 

Walking through the text I came upon Ruth 2:5 where we can confirm Boaz saw Ruth and inquired about who she was. Ruth 2:5 says ,Then Boaz spoke to his servant who was in charge of the workers He asked, “Whose girl is that?” 6. The servant answered, “She is the Moabite woman who came with Naomi from the country of Moab. 7. She came early this morning and asked me if she could follow the workers and gather the grain that was left on the ground. She rested only a short time in that shelter”. You can read on later but this particular passage showed that Boaz was a good guy, he looked out for Ruth. He admired the woman she was, up early trying to find a way to help her mother in law Naomi.

 

 

Once you get into Ruth chapter 3 you can see where Naomi tells Ruth how to get close to Boaz. Keep in mind Boaz is willing to help Ruth, thinks highly of her but he still hasn’t shown a romantic interest in her. Her mother in law, Naomi told her to sit at the feet of Boaz and ask him about marriage. Boaz gives Ruth his word that if the next relative in line will not take her, he will. Now that part right there is where we get to see how the standard of Boaz just doesn’t stand. We know that if you are a great woman, a guy ready for a wife will not pass up on you. He’s not going to risk losing you to someone else because he KNOWS you are worth having. Needless to say, the relative declined because he wanted to keep his own land and didn’t want to risk it. Now that right here speaks volumes because the relative wouldn’t give up his land but Boaz would pass up on such a woman as Ruth? Hmmmmm… The plot thickens.

 

 

Boaz does go on to marry Ruth in Ruth Chapter 4 and they even have a son who Ruth gives to Naomi. She knew that Naomi had been given some pain in the loss of husband and sons, so she shared her son with Naomi. Now the thing I have a problem with is, as single Christian women, we are placing ourselves at the feet of men. You know how you have been single for a certain amount of time and you start to go ahead of God? You get sick of having no companionship so you become the flirtatious woman, start approaching men all for the sake of having one? It won’t work because that is not who God has for you. Sure, you can have someone introduce you to a man but if he doesn’t pursue you then he isn’t for you.

In Ruth, I can say she ended up having the happy ending but for single Christian women, you are worth being found. No man should see your value, see what a wonderful servant of God you are but take you on because no one else will. That is an uncomfortable feeling for me, just being  man’s pick because there is no one else to have me and he knows I desire marriage so he takes me on? No, I just can’t agree with that, wrap my heart/head around that notion. Boaz was a great demonstration of how a man will cover you, provide for you but in a relationship aspect, I’m not so sure.

 

As single Christian women,God has a standard for us and if we are obedient, he will bring us a mate. No matter how lonely our nights get, how many years we have to be single, WAIT on God. It might be a struggle but it is so worth it in the end. I’ve been single for 3 years now, I long for marriage, I’m working on my obedience to God but going before his plan just isn’t an option for me. I know that God has someone for me and in his timing, I will be found and be the only pick for him. It might be times I get sad, lonely, frustrated, but I’d rather all those emotions than being a leftover. When you are going through those hard single phases, pray to God and cast your cares upon him. Pour your heart out to God, vent that emotion to him, he is listening.